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2 Bumps

Would you say yes to this question from your almost 16 year old daughter?

"Can I go to the park and hang out with (names 4 guys, including bf, and maybe one other girl) ?"? I don't really know the others very well, but do know the bf & he's fine, but you know~ I told her I wasn't comfortable with her "hanging out" with just a group of boys right now, especially since I don't know them well. I also told her she needs to be proactive in getting together with her original group of friends, instead of always getting together with the bf & his group. Everything in moderation. She's seen him at least 8 times at different get togethers at the movies, bowling, mall & parties since school let out. I've been extremely flexible with this new relationship, but have told her that there are certain things I'm not so comfortable with...I prefer group get togethers either here or the above mentioned places. She dug her heels in and told me I'm being prejudiced about boys, and treating her like she was still 10!!

 
dflygirl7

Asked by dflygirl7 at 9:15 AM on Jul. 4, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Level 12 (751 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (19)
  • I think you made a good decision. Fine, she was honest with you, but she is going to an isolated place with people you really don't know. She is not old enough to drive, so if there is a problem, there is nothing she can do to get out of the situation. I felt uneasy about them hanging out, and she isn't even my daughter. You have given her other options, let her pick those or throw a fit and not see her boyfriend. At this point, it is her decision.
    krissyvelazquez

    Answer by krissyvelazquez at 4:13 PM on Jul. 4, 2010

  • Well she was being honest with you about who she would be with, she could have easily lied and said she was going to be with female friends. I don't see anything wrong with it as long as you know where she is.
    Mom2Jack04

    Answer by Mom2Jack04 at 9:18 AM on Jul. 4, 2010

  • Atleast she asked you and didn't lie about who she was going to be with. All i can say is when i was 16 i hung out with a group of 4 guys in the neighborhood and i didn't do anything wrong. But my mom did know the guys pretty well so maybe you should get to know the bf's friends
    giovannismom19

    Answer by giovannismom19 at 11:40 AM on Jul. 4, 2010

  • I would let her go. My DD is 17 (just) and IMO the more you micro manage them, the more them may try to sneak around. Give some very specific guidelines about when she is to be home and if you want her to check in at a certain time. Good Luck, Mom. This is a hard one.

    Cindy18

    Answer by Cindy18 at 9:19 AM on Jul. 4, 2010

  • My parent's never told me who I could hang out with when I was 16! And I never did anything bad or got into any trouble. I think you're being over protective.
    Blueliner

    Answer by Blueliner at 1:33 PM on Jul. 4, 2010

  • Trust your instincts. If you feel that it's a bad idea, don't let her go. Better safe than sorry. you know your daughter better than any of us. It really depends on the teenager.
    LovingSAHMommy

    Answer by LovingSAHMommy at 9:42 AM on Jul. 4, 2010

  • At least she asked you! I didn't even ask my mom things like that when I was that age.
    morningglory1

    Answer by morningglory1 at 10:03 AM on Jul. 4, 2010

  • Yeah, I would let her go. At 16, I don't see why she can't make her own choices about where they go or who they go with. My rule is as long as they have their phone so we can get a hold of them & they can get a hold of us, we're cool.
    SabrinaMBowen

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 12:25 PM on Jul. 4, 2010

  • I would be leery, but I would let her go. I would also ask her to have a get together and have BF invite his friends and her friends, too. That way you could meet them. Just because BF is fine doesn't mean his friends are. Kids with any sense at all are fine around parents, ya know?
    mama_k228

    Answer by mama_k228 at 1:05 PM on Jul. 4, 2010

  • What do you think the boys will do? I have 4 sons and they have have many female friends who prefer to hang out with just guys because girls are too catty. I often see 1-2 teen girls with 5-7 boys just hanging out on a porch or having a bonfire. There's nothing negative going on. I personally wouldn't see it as an issue. Now, what they will be doing is more of an issue. To they have set plans or are they just hanging out in a park, are they driving around or walking around? For that...a group of girls only, a group of boys only, an even mix of boys and girls...I would have a problem. My teens were expected to have set in stone plans to go out before they graduated high school and we didn't allow them to ever drive with other teens.
    tracylynnr67

    Answer by tracylynnr67 at 3:45 PM on Jul. 4, 2010

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