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2 Bumps

Has anyone noticed...

how much more civil the discussions have been in this forum lately? This forum is more civil than many of the other forums now. I know that not everyone who posted anon was habitually rude (I have posted anon if I was revealing very private info), but the change sure did seem to weed out some.

I am enjoying talking to everyone here, whether we agree or disagree, because everyone is being a mature adult.


Asked by Iamgr8teful at 9:41 AM on Jul. 4, 2010 in Adoption

Level 25 (23,279 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • I have noticed that there is a lot less activity in the adoption section. It's sad that in an area that is so private & personal, that a woman can ask a question anon, but cannot clarify in comments about her situation w/o being outed.

    Another thing that I noticed is that eventually we will ALL hit access to the anon button and it will be the same as before. In theory, I could vote someone down, (losing one credit) and there friends could vote it up behind me (+3 credits) so that it would take a great deal of single down votes to achieve an aggregate score of -6 for them.

    However, a new person to CafeMom is likely to have come here with a problem and won't be able to keep it private without posting new questions to clarify (and remain Anon) Of course, being new, will they figure that out or leave? Sad it came to this.....

    Answer by doodlebopfan at 10:38 AM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • Yep. I've encountered a few conversations that weren't very kind, but the majority have been very friendly. :)

    Answer by LovingSAHMommy at 9:43 AM on Jul. 4, 2010

  • Yep. I noticed the snide remarks made anon that would be made about adoptive parents is (gasp) gone away. Hmmm.....a mystery. There were comments not so great in the direction of bm's but not so much made anon. Part of that was b/c posters accepted myths of birth parents and just people not knowing adoptions. I suspected quite strongly specific regulars who hid behind the anon button trashing aparents. Interesting how that has gone away. I'm not one who liked the us vs. Them mentality but it truly was a pisser when discussions took on an obvious one sided tone. I also didn't like when amoms who would agree with a bm would be called sucking up if amom was a regular. The moral of the story was if you posted regular you gave enough to be trashed anon. No reason to not share an opinion but now no one can claim it must be a bmom or it is obviously aa amom being stupid or rude.

    Answer by frogdawg at 11:13 AM on Jul. 4, 2010

  • I agree.

    Answer by miriamz at 11:15 AM on Jul. 4, 2010

  • Iamgr8teful, when do all this take place???? I like the new look, and wasn't aware there is no anon button. I am seeing now that you are indeed correct, wow, amazing:) I for one am very happy about this, Blessings, CJ

    Answer by ceejay1 at 8:06 PM on Jul. 4, 2010

  • Yes, it is nice. But, playing devil's you think that people were posting anon because they were just being a troll or because they had an unpopular opinion? I tend to think that people would post anon when they had an opinion that went against the grain. For example....the post a few posts ago about should gays adopt? Well, whatever your opinion, my guess that the ones who felt the answer to that question was no- didn't answer because it was going against the grain. I like to hear people's true thoughts, even if that thought is unpopular. The anon option allowed people to state their unpopular opinion without it bleeding over into their real life (let's say they have friends on Cafe Mom). On the other hand, the anon option allowed people to say some pretty nasty things and be down right mean. So, I guess, all in all, there are + and - but I liked to hear what people had to say.

    Answer by hollyanne31 at 10:52 PM on Jul. 4, 2010

  • I posted on that one and laughed b/c I didn't see the usual representation on the spectrum you would expect to find with that question. However, I did post a response to a concern that it was not traumatic - being that I see gay parents all the time. If that was taken as an offence then so be it. I don't mind telling someone when their opinion doesn't ring home for me. That isn't going to change.

    Answer by frogdawg at 6:26 AM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • Ceejay, I think it's been a week or so. I've seen some discussions here in the Adoption Q&A section that would have previously exploded into a junior high catfight, but everyone has been very civil. Gosh, it's like talking to grown-ups lately!

    Comment by Iamgr8teful (original poster) at 9:42 PM on Jul. 4, 2010

  • Hollyanne, I answered that question,and did so with my usual honesty. I suppose you are correct, there may very well be many whom will play'follow the leader", and not answer with their "true" beliefs. Hard for me to picture, cuz everyone knows I usually hold nothing back, when it comes to my feelings;) Blessings, CJ

    Answer by ceejay1 at 3:27 PM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • yup ,though at some point anon will come back and we will see.

    Answer by drfink at 3:41 PM on Jul. 5, 2010