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How do u connect with your husband after the kids are gone

Stayed at home with my kids while my husband worked around the world. I raised my kids by myself. He comes home and everything has to be his way. My kids are good kids and take care of their selves. My husband is 8 years older than me. we had a fight and I had so much stored up that the agreement began very ugly. He would get in my face to try to intimadate me, burt I just push him and tryed to get away from him. know he just sits on the couch and watches tv and says nothing

Answer Question
 
Marg2

Asked by Marg2 at 10:20 AM on Jul. 4, 2010 in Relationships

Level 3 (17 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • That is very sad. Are you hoping to make it work with him, or are you thinking of moving on?
    Alanaplus3

    Answer by Alanaplus3 at 10:47 AM on Jul. 4, 2010

  • Thats no way to live in a marriage. You both may have stored up feelings that need to come out. When the kids are older or even gone from the home the person who stayed home or did most of the child rearing is left with a void. You will now have to learn how to live with your husband without having the kids always the center of everything. You both may feel like you have little to say to each other. Just me but a couple of visits to a counselor or theapist would be a good idea. You need to find out if you can reconnect or you will be miserable. Start doing things YOU want to do also. Take a class, get a pt job, find a new hobby, join a group and meet new people. Try and include your husband if he is willing but be sure and have YOUR time also. Good Luck!
    itsmesteph11

    Answer by itsmesteph11 at 11:35 AM on Jul. 4, 2010

  • Well it seems like you both need time out. Then you need time to reconnect. Yet Violence isnt the answer. If you have too go to counselling. Maybe it will help. Having a talk if all he does is listen tis better then he does hear what you say. May not like all of what you say but he will know how you feel. Hope this helps. Hugs
    CloudWeaver

    Answer by CloudWeaver at 11:51 AM on Jul. 4, 2010

  • similar to my situation. we are divorcing. mainly because the violence though.
    mrsary

    Answer by mrsary at 12:30 PM on Jul. 4, 2010

  • I would keep doing things the way you have done them. You get it done the house is a working house . You have kept it going he has a nice house to come home a wife taking good care of everything as long as its done. GL Momma
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 12:51 PM on Jul. 4, 2010

  • When SO and I fight he won't discuss it. Every time the man walks in the door it's like we wipe the slate clean and start all over again. He's the first man I've ever known that does that. It took me a few years to adjust but now I like it. When I know I'm in the wrong I quickly say "I'm Sorry". Sometimes when he's in the wrong but I don't want to fight I tell him "I'm sorry" for my part. He just wants to hear those words! He's never done anything unforgivable so I'm ok with smoothing things over. If he does do something wrong and I'm really pissed he just leaves and we take a break. In your case there needs to be a time of adjustment back to where you two were before the kids. It's like meeting all over again but you both have to try. You could say "I'm sorry things got out of hand, lets work this out" He wants to be king of his castle and doesn't remember how. Just help him.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:59 PM on Jul. 4, 2010

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