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17 year old brother in big trouble, should i do something?

my bro at 15 totaled my moms car, he didnt have a license so he was put on diversion. at 16 he was arrested for Poisson of pot. so now on double diversion and he gets tested once a month. he failed his junior yr cuz he never went to school, to busy getting high! he is stealing my moms pain meds (Oxycontin) and selling them! my parents have done NOTHING!!!! no grounding no car taken away nothing! my dad wants to do something but mom wont let him cuz my bro is sensitive???? no he is using you for money! mom gives him at least $100 a week for gas? she is supporting him her money is buying his drugs! now we live with my parents so ive talked with my bro and he doesnt care at all. i want to help but just dont know how? i know he leaves the house with drugs and a pipe on him all the time should i call the cops on him? i think he needs a swift kick in the a$$. he is 17 so its big boy jail if he gets caught!


Asked by Anonymous at 10:46 AM on Jul. 4, 2010 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • Sounds about just like my brother, except fast forward 12 years, add a child to the mix(that my 76 year old grandmother is raising) My brother is 29 and he still lives with my dad. Doesn't work, hasn't in a long time. Is on probation and has to have my dad take him back and forth to to anger management classes, drug classes and parenting classes. Then he will go out to the bars even though he isn't supposed to, spend my dads moneys, and come home drunk with women he has never met before. If I were you I would do everything I could to change it. Because after they continue it for so long there is nothing you can do to change it. Good Luck.

    Answer by BlainesMommy09 at 10:52 AM on Jul. 4, 2010

  • Personally I would stay as far away from him as possible otherwise his trouble might very well get you in trouble just by being around him and his illegal activities, if this isn't possible I'd turn him in quietly in case he is dangerous.


    Answer by RyansMom001 at 10:52 AM on Jul. 4, 2010

  • I would call the cops.

    Coming from someone who knows this all too well. Your brother is not going to get better as long as your mother is enabling him and bailing him out of trouble. He needs to know what consequences are for his actions If that means sitting in jail, so be it.. He also has to want to get better for himself, not forced into it.



    Answer by Christine0813 at 11:45 AM on Jul. 4, 2010

  • You just described my bro.. You need to sit down and have a talk with him and your parents he needs someone to guide him in the right direction.. My brother was a pain in the ace he wasn't listening and was hanging out in the wrong crowd.. If I were you I would remove him from his friends. Tell your mom that she needs to be a mom because he is sensitive isn't an excuse. What is going to happen if he goes to jail? They don't care and he will probably get beat up. Just talk with him and ask where he is going in life what he wants to do. Let him know that you care and want to help but he needs to stop what he is doing cause he will go to jail..

    My bro wanted attention and someone who cared when I let him know I did he cut his crap out, but after my sis died he went right back down the same path. He is now working but is a closet drinker.

    Answer by Claudiomom at 10:57 AM on Jul. 4, 2010

  • I think you're talking about my brother. And if your mom is anything like mine, there's nothing you can do but sit back and watch him spiral.
    He's 23 now and has spent more of his adult years in a jail cell than out and is currently in again for wrecking a car while drunk, running away from the accident, violating a protection order, trying to run from the cops and a couple others I don't remember.
    You can talk and try to help until you're blue in the face. Until he shows that he is ready to fix his life, there is nothing you can do.

    Answer by Kiwismommy19 at 11:22 AM on Jul. 4, 2010

  • He's SENSITIVE? Is mom using his drugs? (sorry, that was sarcasm) How sensitive does she think he'll be in jail or in the cemetery?She's teaching him that his behavior is fine and it's not. It sounds like it may be too late to really teach him anything but enabling him is just wrong and mom needs to stop before she helps kill the boy. She needs to let dad step in. I have no clue whether calling the police is the right thing. It might save his life though. I do know that if you are going to do it then it probably should be done while he's a juvenile so the records can be expunged. That way his record won't be held against him as an adult.

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:24 AM on Jul. 4, 2010

  • Be prepared for the only person to thank you to be dad. Calling the police is the right thing and might save his life or someone elses. GL Momma

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 11:27 AM on Jul. 4, 2010

  • You have your children in a house where there is known drug use??
    Call the cops!
    Get yourself and your children out of there.

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 5:11 PM on Jul. 4, 2010

  • your brother will get or receive help when he wants it. your mother will continue to help for her own reasons. i have a brother like him. they will live and do as they please, and yes spend time behind bars. you can tell the family how you feel and leave the rest up to them. my bro lives in a different because of his behavior.

    Answer by Jewelzgirl at 7:02 PM on Jul. 4, 2010