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2 Bumps

He wants another kid, me not so sure.

My daughter is 2 years old and my husband told me he's ready to try for another one. After my pregnancy with her I really dont want anymore kids because my pregnancy was so difficult. When we first got married we discussed having two children but I think Im good with one. Also I got laid off from my job over a year ago and feel like we aren't finacially stable enough. He told me we will never be finacially stable enough and babies have a way of fitting in. He doesnt have to go through the 9 months of hell that I will have to go through. Am I being too selfish?

Answer Question
 
drs1206

Asked by drs1206 at 10:47 AM on Jul. 4, 2010 in Relationships

Level 10 (466 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • Not selfish. Tell him we’re discuss the subject again in another in a couple of years to see how it goes with the one we have now. When that time comes again say we’re discuss the subject in another couple of years. Etc................. Get my drift. ;-)
    musicmom08

    Answer by musicmom08 at 11:00 AM on Jul. 4, 2010

  • I think you need to tell him what you told us.
    Claudiomom

    Answer by Claudiomom at 11:05 AM on Jul. 4, 2010

  • No, you're not being selfish. Tell him to give it another while (a couple years or what have you), and if you're ready then, maybe you can start trying. Try telling him how traumatic the pregnancy was for you. Luckily, my DH understands this (I had a rough pregnancy and delivery too). Tell him you're willing to consider it, but not right now. As your partner, he should respect that. Good luck to you mama : )
    MrsDex

    Answer by MrsDex at 11:07 AM on Jul. 4, 2010

  • You're not being selfish. You just need to tell him how you feel and ask him if he can wait a few more years and you will talk about it again. My daughter will be 2 in August and we're planning to start TTC baby #2 in March 2011. But my husband and I both want to. It can't just be one person who wants the baby.
    poptart0325

    Answer by poptart0325 at 11:19 AM on Jul. 4, 2010

  • Not really. Understandable on how you feel. Yet I have three children. After the first pregnancy each of the other two were totally different. The second only had problems with dialating. And the third I had to have help dialating. Yet thru each of the pregnancies I was closely monitored due to having a rough first pregnancy. Now I have three children who are 23, 20 and 18. I wouldnt change a thing. Just remember that you are the person who knows your own body. Talk to a gyno/ob doctor. Hope this helps. Have a great day!:)
    CloudWeaver

    Answer by CloudWeaver at 11:49 AM on Jul. 4, 2010

  • No,you are not being selfish. As you said,you will be the one carrying the child.Then you will be the one caring for the child 90% of the time,while he will be at work. No,dont do that to yourself. If you're not prepared to have another child now,it not only wouldnt be fair to you,it wouldnt be fair to your child you have now,but to the child you would be having or to your husband becuase there would be resentment for agreeing to something you didnt want to go along with and then resentment toward the child and that wouldnt be healthy for ANYONE! Dont do it. As some one else suggested,tell him what you said here. Good luck,honey,and take care!
    phall1069

    Answer by phall1069 at 11:53 AM on Jul. 4, 2010

  • compromise. idk how in that situation but something has to give.
    mrsary

    Answer by mrsary at 11:57 AM on Jul. 4, 2010

  • I think you know what you went through sit down and explain it to him maybe this is something you should talk about and keep talking about only you will know if you change your mind. GL Momma
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 12:45 PM on Jul. 4, 2010

  • Tell him you will discuss it with him again this time next year. Marriage is made of compromises, it's not a dictatorship. He'll have to give a little. It's reasonable to table the discussion for a while. This recession is just not the time and until you are ready, it's also not the time.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:52 PM on Jul. 4, 2010

  • Tell him sense you are the one who will be pregnant. You are the one who gets to deside when to have another child.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 2:18 PM on Jul. 4, 2010

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