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3 Bumps

Please read only if you have been in a Domestic Violence Relationship. I'm between decisions and need advice, no question, just advice.

when we were young we were really immature, a lot of physical pushing took place. Even after being pregnant he would still push me. months after our son was born he became more abusive:; whipped me w/shirts/wet towels, we lived in the boonies and he would leave me at home w/no car and food running very low, and once he even beat me, my son was 2mos old.

So he got charged with domestic assault, a misdemeanor. we did therapy, act as couple/but Im just waiting until I find a job so I can leave.

But now we practice "breaks" Breaks are if things get to a shout he has to remove himself and sit outside for 20-30minutes.

I have to beg him to break now, even to tears, and he won't leave unless I threaten to call his P.O. Before he leaves he always seems to bump into me a lot.

I don't want it to get like before SO I don't know if I should work a month or two and save to leave or just leave. not in luv w/him ne more.


Asked by Anonymous at 11:35 AM on Jul. 4, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • Can you contact your women's advocate quietly? If you don't know who that is and you can't find it in a phone book, carefully contact your law enforcement center and ask them who you can call to help you. We are from a very small town and there is someone you can call and they can get you out right away and get you someplace he won't be able to find you for a while. They will give you a safe place to stay and help you get a job or whatever you need to get on your feet. I think they even have access to counseling to help you out. If you think you can, I'd get out now before he really hurts you and your son. Hugs to you. I am thinking of you and hope you can find the confidence and strength to do this for yourself. You can do it!

    Answer by Lifes-A-Dance at 11:41 AM on Jul. 4, 2010

  • Just leave! For the sake of you, and your sweet boy, get out of there ASAP! If he can't even leave for 20min to cool off so things don't escalate to physical violence again, he's obviously not interested in trying to fix the relationship. Call a family member, a friend, anyone you trust and just pack yours and your sons clothes, and hit the road! DO NOT tell him where you're going! My ex husband was physically abusive, but he KNEW when i'd had enough and backed off. This guy doesn't sound like that type. It sounds like he'd do something stupid to stop you from leaving.

    Answer by milfalicious08 at 11:40 AM on Jul. 4, 2010

  • Go to a shelter. They will help protect your child(ren) and you. Plus help you with many resources for housing and a job in due time. Just go and be safe!

    Answer by CloudWeaver at 11:41 AM on Jul. 4, 2010

  • Just leave. It sounds way to risky to stay!

    Answer by soccerchik8287 at 11:48 AM on Jul. 4, 2010

  • Take it from someone who knows, you need to get out. It was the best decision I ever made. It was also one of the hardest. I loved him, no matter what he did to me, but eventually I realized that for both our sakes, I had to leave. He may beg, plead, cry, call you. And it will be hard for a long time. But especially for your son, leave NOW, new job or no new job.

    As for how long it should take. Start by leaving, then go from there. Stay out of the house for at least 6 months and encourage him to get counseling/ continue counseling on his own. If you're married, it might be a good idea to at least give him the chance AFTER you leave to get help. If you're not, just take it a day at a time. In either case, if he doesn't get help, and you feel like it's best to leave, don't look back: you'll find a better man, just like me!

    Answer by MamaRae85 at 11:52 AM on Jul. 4, 2010

  • it only gets worse. ef a job for now. get u & ur son outta there before he really hurts yall!

    Answer by mrsary at 11:43 AM on Jul. 4, 2010

  • He is bumping you please leave now this is going to be the build up to the blow up please take care of yourself.

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 11:52 AM on Jul. 4, 2010

  • I'd have left a long long time ago, and before I did I would have told my brothers (and anyone who would listen) what kind of a guy he is. But yeah, now. I'd leave, file for divorce and get a restraining order. I would never want to see that guy again.

    Answer by Tes...Jacksmami at 11:58 AM on Jul. 4, 2010

  • Even if you feel like you love him dearly, you need to leave. I would have stayed in my relationship if it had not been for my son. One day, when my 4 year old called me the same nasty names his daddy did, I realized "What am I teaching him?" If you cannot leave for yourself, leave for his sake. You do not want him to learn from his dad.
    Here is the address for the National Domestic Violence Hotline.
    Be safe

    Answer by layh41407 at 12:42 PM on Jul. 4, 2010