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Wondering what to do about ex getting help

I now have an ex that I was with for a year. He lost it the other day with me and threw things at me. It has never happened before. The cops were called and I made him leave. He tells me he loves me and wants to work things out. I know for my safety and my daughters he can't come near us until he gets help. I was thinking about 6 months time possibly starting to talk to him again if he has been getting help and working well at it. I know better then to let him come by my daughter for a long long time. I just don't know if 6 months is too soon or if I should just write him off all together. I just need some advice. Thanks

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Asked by Anonymous at 6:18 PM on Jul. 4, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (4)
  • You're the only one who is going to truely know. But I would say six months at a minimum...and even then, take it very slow. Make him prove to you that he has changed. make him work for it, if he really wants it to work and happen then he will work very hard for it.

    Otherwise you would be risking both yours and your daughters safety, i made the mistake of letting my ex try and get help, but it only got me a lot worse pain, involving the er, cops, and in the end cps(because he was my son's father and such). Everything worked out in the end for me and my son but it took a long time. He is now out of our lives hopefully forever.

    good luck

    ps if he is going to anger management, i would suggest at some point going to a few meetings with him.

    Answer by tntmom1027 at 6:24 PM on Jul. 4, 2010

  • the time frame is up to you. you cannot force him to get help. if he says he's going, i agree with the PP about attending some of the meetings with him. good luck with your decision.....i'm sure it's not easy.

    Answer by MommyToEthan at 6:40 PM on Jul. 4, 2010

  • I would personally wait longer (at least a year) to give him time to get himself together.

    Answer by MsHouseWife at 7:27 PM on Jul. 4, 2010

  • Well if he has it in him to do that to you in the first place. he'll be able to do it again, and yes he'll be as sweet as can be just so he won't lose you. For your saftey and you daughters I would drop him all together.

    Answer by Rachel24517 at 12:27 AM on Jul. 5, 2010

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