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What can i do so that my youngest son and youngest daughter get aone?

I am having such a hard time tryin to get my youngest son 11 to get along with his younger sister 10..He does no like sitting next to hear any little thing that she doesmakes him mad.Just yesterday was my daughters birthday and got so mad that everyone was treating her so nice that he said he was not goin to tell her happy Birthday He wont tell her that he loves her if i make hin hug her gets so mad that he gets a real bad attitude..I have tried everything and i cant seem to get things to change with how he feels bout her.They dont have the same dad and she really tries to get along with him. So if anyone has any ideas on how to help PLEASE let me know.Im wiling to try anthing that works..Thank you in advance!

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maddy5

Asked by maddy5 at 6:23 PM on Jul. 4, 2010 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 2 (12 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • It sounds as if he is jealous of her for some reason. Does he have any reason, even if it's irrational, to think that she is loved more? Sounds like sibling rivalry, the fact that it upsets him that everyone was nice to her on her birthday shows that he doesn't like her getting more attention that him. I'm struggling with this too,my DD does not like her brother & sister. They have the same father, different mother. I really hope it will change. I'n trying to teach my DD about competition & how ridiculous it is between siblings.
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 6:31 PM on Jul. 4, 2010

  • Sounds like a major case of jealousy. I would just try to ensure that he knows he is loved. Maybe have a little one on one time with his favorite adult. I would flat out ask him during a quiet time when he is not upset. Make sure what ever he says do not judge just nod and let him say it all. Then ask him what he feels would make him feel better. He is 11 old enough to be able to express himself with a little prodding. I know my little sister and I fought like cats and dogs until after I moved out. It was jealousy. I was jealousy of her getting the youngest perks and she was jealous of my older sister and I leaving her out.

    DevilInPigtails

    Answer by DevilInPigtails at 8:02 PM on Jul. 4, 2010

  • You are right in the middle of a huge case of sibling rivalry. I bet you sit and tell him you love him too, and he needs to be nice to his sister, and how much she loves him. That is exactly what he wants. You are giving him all kinds of reinforcement to continue the behavior. Let him go sit by himself and be mad. Let him know he is welcomed to join in any activity. Don't let your daughter tattle on him and you punish him just for the "story" told. You have empowered her to "get him in trouble" and vice versa. You need to put some really tough behavior management into place. Reward him for positive interaction. Keep a chart if you have to and let him earn rewards for a certain number of positives to his sister. Do not give in to the "emotional blackmail" these kids use on parents.
    jesse123456

    Answer by jesse123456 at 7:29 AM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • Welcome to sibling rivalry, a normal process of growing up and not much you can do to stop it other than discipling for the negative behavior and praising for positive behavior.
    twinsplus2more

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 11:01 AM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • One thing I saw on supernanny was to have a family game night and have the kids be on one team together. I think I would alternate who was on the teams at first so that everyone had a chance to be with one of the parents, too, and that way the kids are not on the same team for too long to start. Google sibling rivalry and look at ideas. Also there are probably good books out there on the subject. Good luck!!
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 4:09 PM on Jul. 5, 2010

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