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How do you control Grandparents and the spoiling?

Both my parents and DH's are out of control!

 
FuzNet

Asked by FuzNet at 8:17 PM on Jul. 4, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 14 (1,540 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (15)
  • You could call a family meeting of parents. Let them know that you love them very much. Let them know that you appreciate all that they do. Let them know what exactly you want to change. Be gentle, expect resistance. After you have told them what you would like changes if they continue doing so begin limiting contact. Most GPs would get the clue.
    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 8:20 PM on Jul. 4, 2010

  • Unfortunately you honestly can't control them. If the feed your child sugar either tell them no or take it away if youw ant to deal with a screaming child. Many grandparents feel they have earned the right to spoil them and send them home.
    carmadsmom

    Answer by carmadsmom at 8:19 PM on Jul. 4, 2010

  • What do you consider spoiling and what age is the child? Sometimes it's not spoiling. Sometimes it's just showing the love
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 8:19 PM on Jul. 4, 2010

  • They should be allowed to spoil when the kids are with them explicitly, however if you are with them, you should be the one in charge. If you want them to quit doing something, first talk to dh and see if he feels the same way, if he doesnt, your probably blowing out of proportion. But if he does, sit down and talk to them. Only try to get one thimg changed at a time. My husband and I talked the with our families before the kid was born. And they totally have respected our wishes, so far..... :-) But I have only asked that they call me before they go completely gugho, and that if Im around to not userp my authority. Good luck!!
    browningmom

    Answer by browningmom at 8:27 PM on Jul. 4, 2010

  • OP..you DEF need to shut that down. Even very young children pick up on the "If Mom says No ask Grandma" garbage. If Mom says no..it means no. That will become a much larger problem as time goes on. I'd work hard to get it shut down now. In my first post I should have said make sure you and your huiband/SO are on the same page. Give a united front.
    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 8:30 PM on Jul. 4, 2010

  • Grandparents are meant to spoil there grand kids. I let my daughters grandparents spoil her when shes with them but once shes with me its a different story. You should talk to your husband about it and explain how you dont want her spoiled.
    drs1206

    Answer by drs1206 at 8:19 PM on Jul. 4, 2010

  • I know how your feel my in laws are the same way and I really don't say much anymore and neither does my husband because they are not going to stop and they are just going to keep doing what they want to do but i don't mind them buying my son's things but it would be nice if they would ask first instead of going ahead and buying whatever they feel like buying him. There are thing they buy him that he can't no longer use or he is getting too big for. I just wish my in laws would just have some resepect call first but aslo look at things before buying them.

    LoriAnn87

    Answer by LoriAnn87 at 8:20 PM on Jul. 4, 2010

  • I am not too worried about the buying things. Both sets are good about researching things first and making sure they are appropriate and safe. For me its the sweets and over ruling me and DH in front of DS. I. Just it sends the wrong message.
    FuzNet

    Comment by FuzNet (original poster) at 8:25 PM on Jul. 4, 2010

  • Be thankful your child is spoiled my mom could careless about my sons and when she gives them things those things are already used or were regifted because my brothers kids did not want it. My dad cannot even tell the difference between my sons and calls them both by the 19 year olds names i just told them too bad. Its good to know someones grandparents still care.
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 8:28 PM on Jul. 4, 2010

  • Sometimes I feel the same way, and then there will be along time, without any spoilage and I get sad, because I know they're treating my nephew to stuff...and not my kids. There is a healthy balance...not sure what to do about it though!
    CAGirl4

    Answer by CAGirl4 at 8:35 PM on Jul. 4, 2010

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