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2 Bumps

What should i say?

My son has a 17 year old half sister who we live with and he is 12, I tell him to respect and listen to her but she is so mean to him and tries to embarass him and accuses him of doing things that he doesn't do that I'm rethinking him listening to her. She harassed him so bad today that he asked me " if she puts her hands on him could he fight her back? What should i say?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:27 AM on Jul. 5, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • I think rather than you trying to find ways for your son to defend himself, you guys should set the 17 year old straight and let her know that that kind of behavior isnt acceptable. GL to you :)
    xxMasonsMommaxx

    Answer by xxMasonsMommaxx at 12:31 AM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • Unfortunately it sounds like you have to address this situation and get it resolved right away! You should probably sit her down and explain to her that she needs to treat him better and with more respect, she is not his mother and she can not get physical with him that's not right!! He should listen to her if she is babysitting him but I don't think I would trust her alone with him right now if she is being mean to him or putting her hands on him, he's 12 years old and she's 17 years old it is not legal for her to hit him!! Maybe you'll have to make sure she knows that?!?!
    Truluv4ever

    Answer by Truluv4ever at 12:36 AM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • You should sit her butt down and tell her that she's almost an adult and if she doesn't stop putting her hands on him, she will receive adult punishments. As for what to tell your son, I would explain to him that two wrongs don't make a right and that if he were to hit her back, he would be no better than she is. Instead, I'd have him tell her to please stop and if she continues, just leave the room and let somebody know what she's doing. Hope this helps, good luck.
    nicolemstacy

    Answer by nicolemstacy at 12:39 AM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • Yeah, it's your house, your rules, but remember that emotional abuse to a child can do more harm than actually physical abuse can. You need to defend your son. Set the rules straight or tell her to get out.
    m-avi

    Answer by m-avi at 12:48 AM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • Thanks ladies. I do agree, i have to have a long talk with her about this. I've told her about accusing him of things and making him feel bad about himself, but when company comes around she tries to show out like a little damn kid. I'm trying to handle the situation without involving my husband. She doesn't have many friends because her attitude is sooo stank, so i believe she's taking out the fact that she has no friends and no one likes being around her, that she's putting her miseries on him. But i'm gonna have one more talk with her and try to solve this before I snap on her.
    mrs2323

    Answer by mrs2323 at 12:48 AM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • respect is earned not given. He is old enough to know how to respect others w/o sacrificing his self respect in the process. Let him know that it's ok to value his self enough to not tolerate someone mistreating him.
    Miranda1127

    Answer by Miranda1127 at 1:08 AM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • Assuming your wording was correct, she evidently isn't your daughter. My daughter is 22 and my son is 17, five years apart just like them. They didn't get along too well at that age either. Teenager vs. preteen. There will be sibling rivalry, that's for sure. Make some rule. Examples, no name calling, don't let one take something from the other without asking, respect each other and be nice to each other. I'm sure you get my reasoning. Have consequences in place in case they don't follow your rules. If there too many arguments, be sure you get both sides of the story before punishment. When each one is talking, make a rule that neither one of them talks while the other talks.That way, they both have a chance to tell their side of the story. They are both going to be teenagers soon!
    amessageofhope

    Answer by amessageofhope at 1:35 AM on Jul. 5, 2010

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