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5 Bumps

Why does my son hate me?! PLEASE ANY TIPS OR IDEAS DESPERATELY NEEDED

Lately more and more he has been pushing me away. Like refusing to do anything with me that used to be normal; u know just be mommy. He just asks for dad. He cries and throws a total fit if he is stuck with me, or if his daddy leaves. Its outta hand and is really beginning to hurt my feelings.
a little background; my boyfriend and I have had a few arguments, times are hard. I have a shorter temper and get louder before he does, he is the cool and collected antagonist that makes me blow.
(yes I know I need anger management)
Now heres another thing, my boyfriend says things about me to my son (his opinions of how dumb or crazy I am, or that i do things that are) I never do that, I always speak positive of him to our son.
Also when I say no or take something away from our son that I think is not ok for a 2 year old to have or do, my bf does the opposite. Ive already talked to him bout that and how we need to stand together

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:49 AM on Jul. 5, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (7)
  • I think you already know what the problem is. You boyfriend is sabotaging you. This is not healthy for you, your son, or your relationship. It seems as if this relationship is becoming toxic. If the two of you can not get on the same page by yourselves, please get counseling. If you don't do it for you, please do it for your little boy who is becoming confused by the back and forth between his daddy and his mommy and the fact that his mind is being filled with hate by the man who is supposed to love his mother.
    layh41407

    Answer by layh41407 at 6:22 AM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • I don't know how old your son is but you already answered your own question because you listed exactly the reasons you know are upsetting your son. It is scary for a child to see a parent yell and some kids are more sensitive then others, and having your bf say those things about you to anyone, especially your child is totally unacceptable. You both need to watch how you talk. You need to spend time doing things with your son that he likes to do. Good luck, I hope things turn around.

    RyansMom001

    Answer by RyansMom001 at 6:28 AM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • I think it is not right for your boyfriend to talk about you like that to your son..that will teach him to see you like that..that is a big problem..also always making you the bad guy from pushing you to blow up to giving him what he wants when you have said no already.. now you blowing up is something you will have to work on for your self.. Just hang in there and try your best to show your son that you love him and that your always going to be there for him no matter what..and just in my opinion..kick your boyfriends ass to the curb...
    mom_angelface

    Answer by mom_angelface at 6:51 AM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • Who is more important - son or boyfriend? You have to do what is best for your child. Take control of your life which will be control of his life. If your boyfriend is saying negative things, usurping your authority, and teaching your child to disobey, you need to show him the street and point him in a direction down that street.
    jesse123456

    Answer by jesse123456 at 6:59 AM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • Yes, you answered your own question. You and the dad need to discuss this and maybe get counseling. Good luck
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 8:05 AM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • You both need to work together when discipling your son, not against one another. Your boyfriend should defintely not be saying negative things against you to your son. That is allowing your son to think it is okay to disrespect you which is not okay. Take some time together just you and your son and go to the park or do things together that he would enjoy. Spending some quality time together hopefully may work. The arguing needs to stop especially in front of your son, although this may be the hardest you have to try your best. If you still feel you need angermanagement help then you should seek that. The most important is your boyfriend cannot say negative things about you to your son that is extremely damaging. Your seeking help and advice is a good thing, hopefully things will get better.
    Kellyjude1

    Answer by Kellyjude1 at 12:23 PM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • Yep, sounds like you have more of a BF problem, than a son problem. Seek counseling for yourself first, then joint counseling for the both of you. Best to do this now, while your boy is still young. Value yourself and demand the same from those around you.
    tasches

    Answer by tasches at 7:22 PM on Jul. 6, 2010

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