Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

What to do about this man ???

My childrens father and i have been together for almost 7 years now. We have two beautiful girls together but we are not married!!!! We have talked and talked and talked and talked about it but still no go. I was just wondering how long should i continue to wait on him i mean he is in his thirtys and im in my mid twenties im ready to settle down with him and only him but my patience are wearing thin. I dont want to have anymore babies out of wedlock or period if they"re not with him awwww man what do i do ?????

Answer Question

Asked by momof2whoohoo at 7:28 AM on Jul. 5, 2010 in Relationships

Level 2 (6 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • There is some reason why he does not want to be married. Have you discussed the actual reason he is not committing? There are plenty of couples who never get married and have a good life together You need to decide if this is a deal breaker for you or not. If you stay, and this is not a deal breaker, you both need to have a will so that you are named each other's heir and any life insurance policies need to have you as each other's beneficiary.

    Answer by elizabr at 7:37 AM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • I believe that one should be married before having sex and making babies, so that makes these questions very difficult for me to answer. You already have two little girls with this man. You chose to do that even though you were not married. He is their dad, so the decisions you make now have to consider their best interests as well as your own. Children need a daddy, especially little girls. He is the person who really gives them their sense of identity as a woman. So, in your case, I believe that it is in their best interest that you stay with him until they are grown even if he never agrees to marry you. I would, in that case, tell my girls when they are old enough to understand what you are saying, that they should learn from their mother and not repeat her mistake. The best way to be married with children is to wait until after the wedding to have sex. When they leave home, you can leave, too, if that's what you want.

    Answer by NannyB. at 7:51 AM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • I agree with the above statement. You have too have a back up plan,if he does not want to get married then what are you going to do.

    Answer by mamaofficer at 7:52 AM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • I agree with nanny b statement.

    Answer by mamaofficer at 7:56 AM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • Its 2010 get real!

    Answer by ashlee31627 at 8:07 AM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • Well depending on what state you are living in you would be considered married any common law. do yo file your taxes together? I think you are already married....don't sweat it.


    Answer by karglynn at 8:31 AM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • Maybe you should have thought about that before opening your legs? Just saying...

    Answer by mommas3cubs at 8:33 AM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • Has he given you a reason why he doesn't want to be married? Since he's older than you, was he married before and it ended badly? Or maybe his parents had a nasty divorce? If he doesn't really have a specific reason it's difficult to understand where he's coming from. Some people just have a negative view of marriage and never want it. If you love him and you are committed to each other you may just have to accept the situation as it is.

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 9:03 AM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • Stop waiting. That's all you can do. Tell him that either you get married or you leave. But if you do, be prepared for him to leave if that is what he wants.

    Answer by Anna92464 at 9:25 AM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • 7 years and 2 kids and he still doesnt want to get married... i say stop wasting your time unless you are ok with never being married. personally i think you should have put your foot down before you brought anymore children into the world with this man- but hey you cant go back in time.. anyways have a serious chat with him and find out why he doesnt want to fully commit to you and the family you guys created. if he still doesnt marry you then honey i say stop wasting time and find you a man who thinks of you as wifey material not baby mama/ girlfriend material.

    Answer by 3xangel at 11:06 PM on Jul. 5, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.