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2 Bumps

Need some Advice...

Last night my boyfriend told me he no longer wants to be together, we have been on and off for 2 yrs now and I am schedueled to have a c-section next mon, we live w his parents due to saving money and now I am being told "my heart just isn't in it" this is my first baby and I am so shocked. He said he's been feeling this for the past 2 wks and his decsion is final he's already slept on it and I am not what he wants. What shld I do? Anyone who has gone through something similar pls give me advise. And due to having a c-section I won't be able to move around much so I feel humilated that I am stuck there w his entire family at that.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 9:24 AM on Jul. 5, 2010 in Pregnancy

Answers (5)
  • wow. what a jerk! so sorry about this!
    i'd find out what his family intends to do at this point. are they continuing to allow you to stay there, as it is their grandbaby still, or are they going to want you to leave? i would do what i had to do to keep myself and my baby safe/calm/protected at this point..worry about his ass later, if ever.
    if his family is willing to keep you, take advantage of their goodness, and be grateful and appreciative to them. ignore him, and don't expect anything from him. you're going to be very 'off' after the baby, mentally and physically, so take what you can get, and try not to worry about what jerkwad is doing.
    again, sorry he's done this. but its probably best..he sounds immature and selfish. you don't really want to be stuck with someone like that. start calling agencies that help single moms, get PA if you can. stay strong and be encouraged. single moms rock!

    Answer by dullscissors at 9:30 AM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • There is no advice that I can give that will help your situation. I can advise you to learn from this experience and to resolve never to let it happen to you again. If I had a dollar for every time I have heard a story just like yours, I would be a rich woman. The best way for any young woman to live her life is to wait until a man who wants a wife and children comes looking for her before she agrees to anything else with him, except marriage. No matter how modern society becomes, no matter who tells you otherwise, the correct order is courtship, marriage, sex, and children. Once you have sex with a man, you miss the revelation of so many of his character traits which are extremely important in the long view. This guy did not just decide he didn't want to be responsible for a baby. What he did was wait until the last possible minute to let you in on his dirty little secret. He used you, and that makes me furious.

    Answer by NannyB. at 9:33 AM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • first (((HUGS)))) second when he told you this what did you say to him? Now it seems you are in an awkward position. First I would ask his parents for six months after the baby is born so you can get back on your feet. Maybe he will have a change of heart and if not I would take the time get all of the help you can and after figure out what you are going to do. Having a baby by yourself is hard until you get into a schedule and when you do it will help you . Also start by first getting rest and then figuring out what you are going to need to move on. I did this and it was hard for the first year but it gets way better after you figure out what your doing for yourself as well as the baby. If you need to talk IM or PM me. GL Momma


    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 9:44 AM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • Im very sorry about your situation...I myself just had a baby a month ago...and I can imagine how you feel physically and the wonders your having about this babys arfrival, and right now all you need is love, support, help, and most of all rest. All I can say to you is be strong. I also agree with dullscissors, get help....get on WIC, get help from your county's health department, and put his little behind on child support....since he doesnt want to take responsibility, then youll have to MAKE him. Best wishes....i know its easier said then done...but dont worry about him right now....worry about you and your blessing....sometimes things fall apart so better things can come together, and that better thing, is your sweet baby.

    Answer by Marinewife7-18 at 9:54 AM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • I slightly disagree with the others, only in that if you have family to go to, I would go. If not, ask for some help to get on your feet.

    Answer by lovinangels at 10:19 AM on Jul. 5, 2010

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