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5 Bumps

How to get out of abusive relationship when im not financally secure?

My ex still has to live in my home i got in the divorce due to me not having a job. He is to pay 1500 dollars in child support but stays in the home and pays the mortgage in leu of the support because i cannot get the house in my name. I just finished school and am pursuing work in the medical field...in the mean time my ex is getting more and more volatile and violent. Please any advice how to get him out ..i have two boys 14 and 9. He wont leave because he pays the bills. I cant afford another attorney to fight him and iam getting so depressed. Please help! Thank You!

Answer Question
 
kimbo7

Asked by kimbo7 at 11:47 AM on Jul. 5, 2010 in Relationships

Level 2 (9 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • You have to get it together for you and the kids. You deserve to be happy.I was in the same situation and was worst off than u but I made it.And I know you can too.
    mamaofficer

    Answer by mamaofficer at 11:56 AM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • I've never gone thru this personally, but where I'm from we have a place called YWCA that specializes in domestic violence. How about talking to a pastor or social services for advice on how to get out of the situation. My mom was a victim of domestic violence when I was a child and I know how hard it is to leave. Think about the safety of your children and go to a shelter for battered woman if you have to, but get out because it will get worse.
    browneyes27

    Answer by browneyes27 at 11:59 AM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • I would get out of the house and find some community programs to help you. No house is worth your life!
    xxlilmomma09

    Answer by xxlilmomma09 at 12:04 PM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • Call the domestic violence hotline and explain the situation. You may be able to go into a safe house. If not, they should be able to hook you up with resources for getting a legal aid attorney or something. You should get out as soon as possible, like today. At the very least call domestic violence today.
    kjrn79

    Answer by kjrn79 at 12:09 PM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • You don't have to have an attorney to file a restraining order. All you have to do is explain in writing your situation and why you feel your ex is a danger to you.
    janel123

    Answer by janel123 at 12:29 PM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • Google help for women in abusive relationships +the city you live in. You should have many things come up, and many resources available to you of places that will help
    soccerchik8287

    Answer by soccerchik8287 at 2:39 PM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • legal aid is an option for you. so is calling the police. you are divorced. unless there is a court order saying you two need to live together, then you don't. he is using finances to control you. the home is YOURS. you can move out to a cheaper place and rent it out or sell it. don't remain trapped in an unbearable situation. between child support, aid that you can get as a single mother with two kids to raise, and a job - whatever job you can get to fill in the blanks - you can make it. did you get alimony too? you might want to revisit that, but in the meantime, i cannot imagine that when your divorce was finalized and you got the house the judge expected you to continue to live with someone you no longer were married to...
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 4:11 PM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • wait... how were you awarded the house in the divorce and you can't get it in your name? that doesn't make sense.
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 4:12 PM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • i got the divorce 3 years ago and had 6months to get the home in my name...then my ex got cancer and had to get treatment for 1 year...so me being built with a large heart could not send him with his illness n like many abused women i thought he would change due to his health scare..but no and he did not appreciate my taking care of him that while time..so now i am stuck and scared to be without s home for myself n my boys...it is only 1100 a month less than most apartments its just getting him out..i so appreciate all my answers and iam taking each one into consideration and my plan of action will begin in the am! thank you all!!!
    kimbo7

    Comment by kimbo7 (original poster) at 4:22 PM on Jul. 5, 2010

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