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2 Bumps

How can I spice up my marriage?

I have been married for almost 3 years and we have one child. We have been together for a while and it seems like all the passion has left our marriage. We have sex and there is no kissing or touching. It seems very distant. We spend a lot of time apart. If the baby is sleeping he sits upstairs and plays a video game, leaving me alone.

I talked to him about this, about loosing all the passion in our marriage and he just gets mad and says I'm making it all up. any helpful advice would be great because I'm worried if things stay like this, nothing good could come of it.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:39 PM on Jul. 5, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • I would like to know also. Im in the same boat as you
    autumnsunris113

    Answer by autumnsunris113 at 12:40 PM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • I would have someone you trust watch your baby for you...like your mom or a good friend...and make a mini vacation for just the two of you to go to a near by hotel and spend time together.
    Cochise

    Answer by Cochise at 12:44 PM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • He may feel like you think it's his "fault" and he's feeling a bit defensive. Instead of talking to him about staying on the computer, plan something that you both like to do together every once in a while....marriage can take on a "comfortable" feel rather than an exciting feel, and this is okay. It doesn't mean something is wrong, but it does scare people because of expectations and an image in their heads of what it should be like. Marriage is also ebb and flow...Best wishes to you!
    Anna92464

    Answer by Anna92464 at 12:46 PM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • couples should go on date nights. at minimum once a month!!! also i have been doing some (dressing up) that has been fun! I got like a wizards school for girls dress- totally cute! anyhow or any lingerie is fun.
    hotrodmomma

    Answer by hotrodmomma at 12:47 PM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • Buy some lingerie, get away just the 2 of you and have someone watch the baby so you to can connect and have no interuptions always let him know what you like/or dont like and always be honest about how you feel communication is the first step Goodluck!
    starestrada

    Answer by starestrada at 12:51 PM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • My advice: If computers are his thing, then try something there! Send him naughty IMs. Leave a little post-it on his screen for him to see when he gets home. Try not to feel bad about yourself or your relationship, just because you're going through a rough little patch. Or, when you make dinner, try plating it obscenely, lol. Guys are very visual, and doing something silly breaks the ice! Get a bottle of whatever he likes to drink or a few beers, strip down and sit on his lap right in the middle of whatever he's doing on the computer. Yes, really! :) I'm very interested in knowing what happens! Lol, I'm just crazy like that I guess. Please keep me updated! :D GL!
    JessicaG45342

    Answer by JessicaG45342 at 1:28 PM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • Also, as silly as it sounds, pretty much EVERY guy is into the Princess Leia Gold Bikini fantasy. With the wrapped up hair cinnamon buns and all, lol. Seems like your guy might like that, too. It's not something that I've done personally, but you should try it! There's nothing sexier to nerdy boys than nerdy girls! Except naked ones! :P
    JessicaG45342

    Answer by JessicaG45342 at 1:30 PM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • whether or not he feels the same, the bigger issue is that he dismisses your feelings. that right there goes right along with the lack of intimacy and affection you describe. you need to not let him do that - tell him whether or not he agrees that is how you feel and it causing problems in your relationship, and you need to feel that he at least cares enough to try to listen to what you have to say and work it out with you or else you may consider that the relationship is no longer working... he may not know what to say or do and this is his way of avoiding conversation.
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 4:08 PM on Jul. 5, 2010

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