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My ex-husband and i were divorced 2 years ago and visitations and everything have been going smooth. Well recently he started dating a girl known to be on meth and on probabtion for stealing pain pills from the local pharmacy. My son just came home from their last visit saying he woke up to dad and his gf wrestling naked. My kids and my ex share a room at the place he is staying because hes staying with friends. What do I do??

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mommyriebel

Asked by mommyriebel at 12:40 PM on Jul. 5, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 2 (11 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • Tell your husband about it and insist he fixes the problem. I would tell him that I was going to have a talk with my lawyer if he doesn't.
    Cochise

    Answer by Cochise at 12:43 PM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • What can you do that would make things better? Your son is 3-4 and you can't be sure of what happened. It happens that kids see their parent having sex. The father shouldn't be having a girlfriend stay over if he and your son are sharing a room, but what can you do? You can't tell him what to do. You don't want him telling you what to do. Going to court would cost a lot and there is a good chance that nothing would happen.

    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 12:46 PM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • I would have a sit down chat with xh and his gf. Honestly, most visitations require that the non custodial parent (and the custodial parent too sometimes) not have overnight visitors of the opposite sex during the visitation. Really, hon, he has how many days that he can do his gf when his son is not there? He needs to step up and be a father during visitations. He also needs to realize that he CANT be exposing your son to things like this. Tell him that he needs to focus on his son when he has him, and not bring the gf around unless/until she is something more serious than a fling - and his bedroom escapades need to be kept to his bedroom when there is NOT a child around.
    MunchiesMom324

    Answer by MunchiesMom324 at 12:47 PM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • I agree with cochise. It is VERY inappropriate to be having sex with a young child in the same room. I'm surprised he has any visitation at all since he doesn't have his own place currently? That seems odd to me. I'd tell him that you don't approve of this woman being around your child, and having sex in the same room while your child is sleeping. If the situation doesn't get better, you will be taking him back to court.
    Ash9724

    Answer by Ash9724 at 12:50 PM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • I think you need to have a talk with him, if he wants someone to stay over then you need to talk to him about the how it isnt appropriate having sex in front of your child, im sure he has plenty of time to do that when your child isnt in the same room or visiting
    kassee

    Answer by kassee at 12:50 PM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • After talking to dad about the situation..in a very calm and rational manner of course (HAHAHAHA)
    I would give him this option...if you can't keep it zipped when the kids are over then by all means, call me and bring our children back home. They are your children too and you should have a say so in what they are subjected to. Would he approve of you having sex right in front of the kids in the same room? Why should you have to be okay with it and why should your children have to be okay with it. Its disgusting. What kind of woman is this woman anyway? I wouldnt want to have sex in the same room with my boyfriends kids. I'd feel extremely uncomfortable and would want to go into the bathroom or someplace to be discreet.
    My gosh..can they not control thier hormones for the childrens sake?
    Good Luck with that...I hope you can get through to thier father and he shapes up.
    kimberlyinberea

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 1:22 PM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • tell him that this is what your son saw and if there's anymore talk about it from your son about wrestling naked then something is going to be done about it and your going to do your research and homework on what you can do. i dont think lawyers can make a case out of the parent having sex in front of a child or take away rights because of that but i could be wrong.
    americansugar80

    Answer by americansugar80 at 1:25 PM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • Sex & meth are do very different issues. Yes, kids have "seen" too much and will recover from an isolated incident. However, if you are concerned about drug use and she lives there, you need to talk to him or report it. Start keeping a journal of what he says when he comes home. Sometimes courts think that you are trying to keep him from the kids, but the journal will convey the real reasons if in the future you should need to go back to court.
    doodlebopfan

    Answer by doodlebopfan at 7:48 PM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • PS-I got distracted, sorry. I meant to tell you to be careful of how you tell your EX that your son told you about the naked wrestling. You don't want his dad punishing him for telling you things. So be non-judmental when you discuss it.
    doodlebopfan

    Answer by doodlebopfan at 7:50 PM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • talk to the Dad about it. if he doesn't do anything about it try talking to the gf.
    mrsary

    Answer by mrsary at 8:14 AM on Jul. 6, 2010

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