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Rasing Boys

I am married with 4 kids, I have 2 boys and 2 girls, my boys are 10 & 12, girls 3 &14. I spend time with my oldest and my youngest we have our time together also. I use to leave the one on one guy bonding time to my husband to spend time with the boys, but at times that does not happen, unless I tell my husband to do something with them. My concern is that they are getting older and I am seeing a change in their behavior, and it is really starting to get at me. I take my boys places but we don't have a routine thing like me and my oldest dd have. I have always thought my husband should handle the boys issues because he have more experience and insight than I would have, but I also feel like I shouldn't have to force him to do it either. I was thinking if I should step in and take over, but I don't even know what to do with them, and should I spend time with them separately or together. What should I do?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 12:49 PM on Jul. 5, 2010 in Tweens (9-12)

Answers (5)
  • Yes, each child needs one on one time with each of his/her parent.s Have a sincere discussion with dad and set up some sort of schedule if need be. They are getting to the age where they will turn to their peer group to share confidences and get support. My husband coached some of the city teams that my boys were on and got involved with their school work. I took them shopping (yes, my boys liked to do lunch and shop) and also got involved with their school projects, actually tutoring our youngest in geometry, etc. You and dad want to be the ones they turn to in their teen years when they need someone. Best wishes.

    Answer by elizabr at 12:56 PM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • I do things with all the kids (4 boys; 14, 13, 13, 2.5, 1 girl; 10) as equally as I can. I don't do "guy things" like hunt or fish or whatever - but we'll go to the park, listen to music, hang out and talk, etc. I don't think it's what you do that is as important as just spending time together.

    Answer by Scuba at 12:57 PM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • I have a 10 year old son too :) I pretty much play mom and dad roles with him. His father and I divorced when he was about 4. But even before then, I was the one that did everything with our son. Yeah, it would be ideal for the man of the house to do things with the boys but it doesnt hurt when mom does them.
    We go o the movies, I take him to all his sports games.I've taught him how to throw and catch a ball (poor kid,lol). I take him fishing, I've taught him how to bait a pole and to cast out a line. I've taught him how to use a row boat.He loves the nature..and so do I, we take walks in the parks and talk about the things we see and find, its fun to make nature collages. At home, we play board games, play cards, whatever. He's my little buddy. :)

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 1:15 PM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • I have two boys and spend as much time with them as possible. They are 12 & 15 and I still go outside and play football or baseball with them. I play catch and wrestle around with them. They also enjoy shopping and lunch or sometimes we'll do dinner and a movie. I spend time with them together and one on one. I think its important that they can see dad as a role model and that he is there for the important things as much as mom is. While dad may be able to relate better, mom's can provide the flip side of the coin in regard to relationships and women in general. I think its also important that kids know they can go to either parent for anything, boys shouldn't have to relay on dad for the guy stuff. I think it makes for more well rounded children if both parents can be engaged, if not that's fine too, but don't discount yourself because you're not a man or dad, they want time with their mom just as much.

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 11:33 AM on Jul. 6, 2010

  • Read Dr. James Dobson's book "Bringing Up Boys". It should HELP!

    Answer by plclemo at 11:27 AM on Jul. 8, 2010

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