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worried about dd transition

as some of you may know my GAL recommended that dd start living with her father. she is a bf baby who i planned to extended nurse but wont be able to if she is living with her father. well im worried about how she will handle being ripped from the breast (although she does take a bottle from him on her visits and from daycare so she is used to the bottle) but im also concerned how she will handle going from co sleeping to crying it out. i cosleep with her so she feels loved and comfortable but her father doesnt like cosleeping and will let her cry it out because he thinks that teaches her to be independant. if you were me would you start to transition now or wait for a court order. i havent even been to court so i could be worrying for nothing... what are you thoughts? do i start transitioning her away from the breast and towards crying it out now even though im against it or do i wait and potentally make it harder on her late

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mommy06and09

Asked by mommy06and09 at 1:32 PM on Jul. 5, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 11 (531 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • Why would it be better for her to live with her father? Almost NO judge will give a breastfed baby to the father unless the mother is completely unfit. Is that the case here? For me to answer your question, I need more information.
    rockinmomto2

    Answer by rockinmomto2 at 1:35 PM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • If you are ordered to I suppose I would transition her. No point in upsetting her schedule and habits though until you have to. I am so sorry you have to worry about this. I hope this doesn't come to be.
    jamesonjustines

    Answer by jamesonjustines at 1:46 PM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • not unfit, but i made mistakes with my older child and dd is 11 months so she wont NEED the bm in another month. the GAL thinks my ex is more willing to learn to parent than me which is NOT true. im the one who recently took parenting classes. the GAL didnt like that my kids are comfortable playnging in a room alone. ds (4years) got to watch tv, something we dont do at home, so he was content for an hour (he also was playing with thomas the train and other various toys) during this time i talked with the GAL and she watched me interact with dd. then the next time the GAL came i had to make ds lunch and left dd in the living room while dd played. the way my aparment is set up i could still see dd most of the time. dd played fine while i made ds a sandwhich and got him some veggies with ranch. that doesnt seem unreasonable to me. the other problem is that i abandoned my family to be with this guy so the only people that she
    mommy06and09

    Comment by mommy06and09 (original poster) at 1:51 PM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • had to talk with were the family and friends of my ex. she seemed to ignore that the kids daycare said they were both clean and healthy and happy kids with no behavioral problems (well til my ex hid dd from me then ds tantrumed everytime i left him at daycare) the doctors even said i was at every doc visit and my ex wasnt. he went to most though.... and im not saying hes a bad guy but he thinks a child should have enough respect not to touch a switch blade knife that is left on the kitchen table.
    mommy06and09

    Comment by mommy06and09 (original poster) at 1:55 PM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • what is GAL?
    rileymommy

    Answer by rileymommy at 1:56 PM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • Guardian Ad Litem. (Kids' attorney.)
    doodlebopfan

    Answer by doodlebopfan at 6:20 PM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • I wouldn't transition her unless & until it was court-ordered although I understand where you are coming from. I'm a foster parent who has had to get thru many "what will the court say this time?" sort of things. Most of the time, things happened to where the children stay, and even when they do go, what little transition that could be done, won't amount to much. Keep your happy routine, and pray, pray, pray. That's what I do when I realize that none of this is in my control. Whatever the judge says goes. I'm sorry that you are dealing with this. Good luck and saying a prayer for you.
    doodlebopfan

    Answer by doodlebopfan at 6:26 PM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • im sorry this is happening to you. I couldnt imagine but I think the transition is going to hurt you more than the baby. Most babies transition very well. I co slept with my daughter to only because I was a single mom and it didnt bother me but when I transitioned her into her room she cried and I let her cry, not because I didnt love hr but it was time for her to sleep in her own room. CIO may last for a few minutes for the first week and then its over.
    Anyway, if it helps you sleep better at night then yes I would slowly transition her to a bottle or sippy cup. She can have a sippy cup now, my daughter had a sippy cup at 1 and try having her sleep by herself.
    lilmsnay83

    Answer by lilmsnay83 at 6:57 PM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • i have tried letting her cio in the past and she has literally crie for a half hour before i caved and took her to bed where she instantly fell asleep... it was heart breaking.
    mommy06and09

    Comment by mommy06and09 (original poster) at 7:22 PM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • I would hire a lawyer AND FIGHT FOR MY KID. No way in hell I'd let my ex take my nursing baby. Or my bottle fed baby!
    Arisce

    Answer by Arisce at 7:47 PM on Jul. 5, 2010

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