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Attachment/Nursing/ Issues!!??

Well, i've now been nursing my LO exclusively for 10 months and things are going great! I'm proud to say she has NEVER EVER had a bottle, even with breastmilk! So excited! On another note, she is such a momma's girl. She screams if i leave her for even a few minutes. Im a stay at home mom and haven't really left her unless she has been asleep. My husband wants to go to a concert with me and leave the baby. I can't even have fun when i know she is so unhappy. I'm not ready to leave her. Even my three year old has only been away from me for a night. Am i too attached? My husbands pushing bottles and is kinda being mean that i won't leave the baby unless she has gone down for the night. He just doesn't understand that i can't let loose when i know she is upset. I'm torn. I want my husband to be happy but i dont like leaving my babies!

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Asked by CaityMarie at 3:38 PM on Jul. 5, 2010 in Babies (0-12 months)

Level 10 (382 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • If you and baby are happy being so attached then there is nothing wrong wtih your relatinship. You SHOULD make time for your husband too, which is probably why he is pushing bottles and going out right now. He is feeling left out. Have an at-home date night after the kids go to bed once a week and see if that helps him ease up a bit :)

    Answer by Ati_13 at 3:41 PM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • My son went through this around 10 months...he got really clingy. We never left him alone for an even until HE was ready and this occurred around when he was a year old.

    Stick by your guns and don't push it...I don't think you are too attached just in tune and sensitive to the fact your child is needing you right now and isn't ready to be without you.

    Answer by keyaziz at 3:41 PM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • Most babies that age have some seperation anxiety, but I understand how you feel. I can't even hang out at a friend's house with my dd asleep upstairs. I feel like a bad mom if she's not home, in her own bed like she's used to.

    Answer by rhianna1708 at 3:42 PM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • I understand how you feel, (I really do) but it is not fair to your DH or LO. You will have to let her learn to be a bit independent, and you have to be there for your hubby :)

    You have to start leaving LO a little bit at a time and don't worry, she'll be ok , and after a while, so will you :)

    Answer by Nynne at 3:44 PM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • You are doing a great job! You don't have issues. Babies are supposed to cry when not being held by mom at this age. What you are doing is right, your husband is wrong. It's not right for big people to have fun at the expense of little people. Breastfed babies shouldn't be given bottles and left if the mom doesn't want to and/or if they are going to be upset the whole time.

    If you do decide to go out your baby is old enough to eat solids or drink from a cup and doesn't need a bottle if you are gone for a couple of hours. Exclusively breastfeeding means no food but I think you mean no formula or bottles since your baby is 10 mo. You may enjoy attending La Leche League meetings and being around other moms. Some may be going through the same thing.



    Answer by Gailll at 4:06 PM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • I had to return to work part time after birth and it is heartbreaking even for a couple of hours. If you aren't ready you aren't ready. You can make more time for him, so you both need to have a conversation. Let him know that bottles aren't going to fix it, but he can help you coordinate getting her down for the night. All babies go through this phase.

    Answer by amileegirl at 5:44 PM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • You perfectly describe my relationship with my 12 mo old!!! She sleeps will me and has had almost no separation from me. The difference is that now, and when she was 10 months old, she was very independent, had very little separation anxiety. The first time I left her (other than a few times for only an hour or so w/ Dad) she was almost 10 mo old. I left her w/my SIL for 4 hours. She did react at all when I left! She refused a bottle while I was gone and got a little bit fussy, but was pretty much fine until I got back an nursed her. My point, I have parented exactly the same, but my DD acts so differently, why, because it is personality, she was born with that temperment!
    You are doing an awesome job, and she will have a healthy strong attachment to you. There is no such thing as you being "too" attached. If you try and force independence on her sooner she will only cling tighter!

    Answer by maggiemom2000 at 6:31 PM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • That should say she DIDN'T react at all when I left her w/ my SIL, she was happy as a clam!

    Answer by maggiemom2000 at 6:33 PM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • I get how you feel, but I think your DH deserves some time with you as well. I have a 2 month old, who isn't the happiest baby when I am not around, but he's been doing better and better. He was actually alone with daddy for 7 hours today so I could have 1:1 time with my 3 yo at Six Flags. Your DD most likely will not be miserable while you are gone. Let her get some bonding time with the relatives, it can be a good thing. :)


    Answer by KairisMama at 9:56 PM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • No such thing as too attached in this stage. But here's a thought...hand her to a caregiver and go to the store. After a couple of minutes, she should calm down. They generally do.

    Answer by gdiamante at 1:24 AM on Jul. 6, 2010

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