Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

3 Bumps

Your DH takes your MIL's Side & mentions Divorce? Please suggest!

I heard a Story today. At the in laws' The MIL & SIL are watching the kids. The MIL's 14 year old give Those massive sparklers to the 5 & 3 year old. The 3 year old Burns your 5 year old. They DO Nothing about the Big Burn! (She ran a daycare but was shut down.) The FIL runs your 5 y.o into the house to see the Burn & do something. You're nursing your baby. Neither your MIL or SIL cared. Your 5 year old has a Very Awful Burn! Your MIL says it can't be that Bad! Nothing is said or done. No I'm sorry's. You can't blame the 3 year old for burning his 5 year old cousin. You're mad. Your son is burned hurting & refused going to the fireworks! Your DH is taking his mother's side. Not caring your son is Burned. Neither his sister or mother reacted to this Awful burn. What a lack of Care? How can you see your own loved one hurting and burned and do Nothing? How can you & your DH agree? How can you get over this? What's next? Help.

Answer Question
 
Angellinda

Asked by Angellinda at 4:43 PM on Jul. 5, 2010 in Relationships

Level 21 (11,804 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • There are always two sides to a story. I would have to hear the MIL's side before coming to a conclusion.
    vnw1405

    Answer by vnw1405 at 4:47 PM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • A 3 yo and a 5 yr old shouldn't really be playing with sparklers in the first place, but you can't blame the 5 yo, he probably didn't realize how hot those things are. I would have stopped nursing and tended to the 5 yo, or had my DH do it. It sounds like an accident, what did you think your DH should have done (aside from tending to the burn)?
    Scuba

    Answer by Scuba at 4:48 PM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • OK first of all if the child didnt need to go to the ER, its NOT that big of a deal. accidents happen in childhood and honestly if people screamed and cried over every single one we would get NO WHERE in day to day life. should they have sshown more concern? i think so . but i sense too you are making a HUGE MOUNTAIN OUT OF A MOLEHILL too. You could have kept your child away from the sprakler thing but you choose to take the risk too. I would say LET IT GO MOMMA. you can CHOOSE to get over this, let it go, dont make it a drama. chalk it up to a childhood accident and LET IT GO. be a bit more involved yourself in the future and DONT let your child be involved with sparklers this young. honestly a 3 and a 5 year old with sparklers is BEGGING for an accidental burn.
    sati769leigh

    Answer by sati769leigh at 4:49 PM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • If this happened to MY child and my MIL didn't seem to care I would take my child to the hospital (assuming it was "that" bad) and charge it to to her homeowner's insurance. HI covers injuries at the insured's home.
    matthewscandi

    Answer by matthewscandi at 4:51 PM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • You are talking about people and what they did and didn't do and how awful the burn is but you don't describe the burn. What's up with that? You are more concerned about blame and who did what and who agrees with whom than the burn? What needed to be done about the burn? Was it 2nd or 3rd degree? Did he have to go to the burn unit in the ambulance?


    It's difficult when we are nursing and other people don't take care of our other children the way that we would take care of them. It sounds like they may have thought the FIL was taking care of the situation. Some people think you shouldn't panic in front of kids about injuries and act calm. You may have mistaken calm for not caring. Your husband may have taken their side because you are sounding over emotional.


    You need to watch your child while breastfeeding

    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 4:53 PM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • i am so sorry my husband takes his moms side all the time but he thinks i take my moms i just let it go in one hear and out the other but i am so sorry ur baby got burned and that is so mean they did nothing at all i know the feeling sometimes i would love to go off on them but i have to bit my tonge i hope u work things out but i hope ur baby is ok
    shannonsmom555

    Answer by shannonsmom555 at 4:53 PM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • i dont know why people have to be so hard she just wanted some edvise not to be put down gees people can we be a little more nice
    shannonsmom555

    Answer by shannonsmom555 at 4:57 PM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • I don't have a child, but my Dh will always care what's best for future Ds. He is a worrier! Now, my question for you, is where in the world were you when the 3year old burnt your son? And did you see the three year old burn him, or are you ASSUMING? If your son is fine, then I understand why you're mad at MIL... I have my own problems with my own MIL... It will be really hard to let her just come over and baby~sit my FDs! I seriously wouldn't trust her...

    smokisses

    Answer by smokisses at 4:58 PM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • Your husband is telling you that this is so important that he would say the word divorce. I'm thinking that he is upset about you being so over emotional, blaming others, and so stuck on the idea that his mother should have said she was sorry. He may be fed up with your drama. Since you have two young children you need to look at your behavior. Is the drama worth it? Is making a big deal out of this worth getting a divorce?

    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 4:59 PM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • This isn't my child. Like I mentioned its a story I heard today. I saw the burn & its hurting! If you can't trust a child with his own Grandmother & aunt. Who can you Trust? Especially since she ran a day care for years until being shut down by the state.Just concern and care is all you expect. I'd care if it were a pet. When you're inside and nursing a scared baby scared of the fireworks. You have to be able to trust them. But the 5 year old is screaming but he was hurt by the 3 year old. Who's the Favorite Grand baby. That's not that issue. Its the Care to tend to some one hurting. That's my point. If your DH just cares to take his own MIL's side what can you do? She has never even given her own son a birthday party in his life. When my DD threw him a BD party his parents came with nothing. Until they saw everyone had gifts & cards for him. They gave him a Few bucks! For The new Baby girl 9 mos old Nothing ever. 3 kids
    Angellinda

    Comment by Angellinda (original poster) at 5:11 PM on Jul. 5, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN