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4 Bumps

Should (or does) your DH or SO help out with cleaning? Opinions.

Let me mention that my SO has been laid off for almost five months. We are both enrolled in college right now. He's trying to get a second degree so he can be qualified for jobs that are actually in the area. Well, he is on break until Fall. My classes start again next week.

My question is: Am I being unreasonable to expect him to help out around the house? I can't get him to do ANY cleaning or even picking up after himself. There are bigger projects that need done as well but I gave up on having help for those. It's really getting on my last nerve.

He does find time and energy to go out with his friends and play video games and all that though. Surprise!

Answer Question
 
LittleWeloosMom

Asked by LittleWeloosMom at 5:12 PM on Jul. 5, 2010 in Relationships

Level 17 (3,776 Credits)
Answers (24)
  • he should be helping. shared chores should be shared and he should be taking care of his own crap. period, end of story. you're not his mother or his maid. dump him now
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 5:13 PM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • He should definately be helping, if not doing the majority of the work, since you are working and going to school and he's on break.

    My husband should (and does) help when I request it of him. I don't do that too often since I'm a SAHM, but that doesn't mean that I don't work while I'm home. ANd sometimes I just need a little bit of help. He always does it, too, whenever I ask.

    Sounds like your hubby just wants to be lazy. I'd make it a point.
    Ati_13

    Answer by Ati_13 at 5:15 PM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • my husband doesnt help out either the last time i asked him to do the laundry he put 3 shirts in the washer so i juist dont even ask and when i dont feel like doing anything nothing gets done u have to pick ur battles and that is something i got tired of fighting about . good luck
    shannonsmom555

    Answer by shannonsmom555 at 5:16 PM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • "dump him"? Over housework??? No,that's a lil harsh! lol I think its time for a heart to heart talk,help out or the game counsel gets it!
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 5:17 PM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • You shouldn't have to expect him to do any housework, he should do it regardless since that is his home as well. He has 50% responsibility in that home regardless if he's working or not. He should pick up after himself since he is an adult, let alone the man of the house. This shouldn't be a question, though I know it too often is in a lot of homes. (Mine for example) Men should just ball up and do what they walked into this lifestyle knowing was needed to be done.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 5:18 PM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • honey put your foot down, dont let it be a choice. Honey, are you going to do XXXX or YYYY today? both need to be done, but choose one. give him a time line for gettting it done. men are not mind readers. its a better bet to simply askhim yet tell him what you need from him. find out which tasks he doesnt mind so much compared to others. IE bathroom versus laundry etc. and gear what you ask him to do around what he is more WILLING to do. all else fails, go on strike. REFUSE to do anytihng for HIM. take care of kids, cook only for them and you, NOT HIM, not HIS LAUNDRY, NADA.
    sati769leigh

    Answer by sati769leigh at 5:20 PM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • lol no not dump him over housework - dump him over the fact that he's lazy and selfish and not likely to change.
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 5:20 PM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • yes, he needs to help.
    MommyToEthan

    Answer by MommyToEthan at 5:23 PM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • I don't expect my husband to do A LOT my any means. but I do expect some help from him. and thankfully, I usually don't have to ask for much help. he has no problem pitching in to help. he'll cook, do the dishes, sweep/mop, vacuum, scrub the toilet---he'll do it all, and I love that about him.
    he's a great help.

    I don't think it's unreasonable at all to have help from a DH/SO with the housework...the only exception I can think of is if for say, a husband is working 14+hrs a day and is married to a SAHM...(but that's JMHO).
    carliemarie1015

    Answer by carliemarie1015 at 5:25 PM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • He should help! I Loved it when I asked DH to help me and he said he can't be bothered with women's work! I did teach a old DH new Tricks! Sad thing now is he does Everything. He has to! I have breast cancer and am ill. We'll be married 30 years in August. You can work on your DH. I wish you both the successes in life. But working at them together.. It can happen. Every One can learn and change! I bring up DH's answer..I wish you the best of luck in everything..
    Angellinda

    Answer by Angellinda at 5:26 PM on Jul. 5, 2010

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