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2 Bumps

I need to vent

This is probably going to sound terrible but, my boyfriend recently got a promotion and now a part of me is wishing he hadn't. We wanted so badly for him to get it because he hated working at the lowest level of the company, but since he's had a higher position, he seems to be more stressed and sleeping less, making him more irritable and snappy. He never feels well because he doesn't get much sleep, and is barely affectionate with me. We don't live together, meaning that we don't get to see each other, and when we do lately, his head or stomach hurts and all he wants to do is relax. Today I tried to text him and he didn't even reply. Should I just give him time to adjust like everyone is telling me to do or leave him alone until he figures out what's bothering him and fixes it on his own?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:56 PM on Jul. 5, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • His sleep is what's bothering him (from the sounds of it). Encourage (but don't nag) him to try to get more rest. Perhaps you could even offer to cook dinner for him when he gets home from work so that he can eat, spend a little time with you and then go to bed. Ask him what he wants or how you can help him. Be sensitive. A promotion can be a great thing but its also a lot of added stress.
    outstandingLove

    Answer by outstandingLove at 6:59 PM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • starting a new position is an adjustment...give him support...maybe even get him to talk about it....
    Safirejewl

    Answer by Safirejewl at 6:59 PM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • how long ago did he get this promotion it may take some time for him to get used to his new responsiblities. I always say be careful what you wish for you may get it and then really not like the results.
    dynameteduck

    Answer by dynameteduck at 6:59 PM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • He got the position roughly three weeks ago but has only been doing the job he was promoted to for 2.
    countrygirl1987

    Answer by countrygirl1987 at 7:01 PM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • Don't know how long he has had the new position but he certainly needs time to make the adjustment. Does he talk to you about it? I would encourage him to so he knows he has someone who will listen. It took my husband about 4-6 weeks to adjust when he got his new job. There was SO much ro learn and he felt overwhelmed. Eventually he was fine. Wishing you both all the best. I hope it turns out to be a good thing.
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 7:02 PM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • I was prompted to Sgt on my job and yes it more stress. So I know exactly what you are talking about. My advice to you is to try to make it as peaceful as you can at home. Just do what you can to keep peace in your home.
    mamaofficer

    Answer by mamaofficer at 7:02 PM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • I'm trying, but I don't really appreciate his attitude (that he's not being very nice to me at all) when I 'm just trying to be supportive.
    countrygirl1987

    Answer by countrygirl1987 at 7:22 PM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • yeah, don't add to his stress with additional demands and being overbearing. you can certainly talk to him and ask what you can do, and then listen to what he says. be careful not to impose your ideas of what needs to happen on him. he does need to adjust and he does need to figure it out on his own. that doesn't mean you are not important and you can't be supportive.
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 10:41 PM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • Thanks:). I figured that this would be the best approach to take and as being patient as I see how things turn out.
    countrygirl1987

    Answer by countrygirl1987 at 7:44 PM on Jul. 8, 2010

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