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My daughter is fat

How can I nicely let her know that she needs to lose some weight for her health's sake. Her upper arms are now full of cellulite. She is is only 24 and has never had a child.

 
lilangilyn

Asked by lilangilyn at 7:24 PM on Jul. 5, 2010 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 17 (4,483 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • I think you just need to talk to her about it. Subjects like weight are always going to be touchy, but if you're bringing it up with good intentions, you should be able to talk to her about anything. Best wishes!
    Erin814

    Answer by Erin814 at 7:35 PM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • I don't think you are as concerned for her health as you are wanting her to lose weight for superficial reasons, hence the comment about her arms. You didn't complain of her health, you complained of her cellulite. She's 24 years old, a grown woman, if she is extremely over weight she doesn't need you to tell her. I'm sure she knows. If she's just moderately over weight then just let it go. After you take a good hard look at your own heart and your true motivation in her losing weight, if you still think your only concern is her health then don't mention her weight at all just suggest that you two start walking together in the evenings or going to the gym together.
    ThrivingMom

    Answer by ThrivingMom at 7:48 PM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • Is she unhappy being fat? Is she depressed cause she is fat? Are you ashamed to be seen with her because of her being fat?

    Yes, the health risks are bad... I know.

    I am 25 and "fat" according to some people. My health is affected by it and I do some things to change it. But for the most part. I am who I am and I have someone who loves me for me. Even being "fat." He isn't at all.

    If she is happy and content with her life why change her?
    There is no way to tell her to lose weight nicely. It will damage her self-esteem. Trust me, I know. Maybe ask her to walk with you. 30 min of exercise a day will help. But maybe you should tell her that you are worried about her health and don't want to see anything happen to her. (( Diabetes, strokes, ect... )) Maybe that wont hurt her as bad.
    Michele068

    Answer by Michele068 at 7:37 PM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • Suggest fun active things to do together. Or tell her that you are starting an exercise routine and need a partner. Good luck!
    racheljessee

    Answer by racheljessee at 7:38 PM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • There is no nice way to say it...its going to hurt any way you say it. It might help if you need to lose some weight yourself to tell her your trying to get more healthy and you would love her to join you to make it easier for both of you... I would say something like...I love you so much I want to live a long life with you.
    Cochise

    Answer by Cochise at 7:26 PM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • @ThrivingMom = I agree with you 100%
    Michele068

    Answer by Michele068 at 7:51 PM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • we have a rule in my family - started by my mom - that we don't discuss weight. that is personal. she's 24. if she is unhappy with her appearance (which seems to be your issue) surely you pointing that out will only damage your relationship. i could stand to lose a few pounds (once pregnancy is over) but i'll be damned if anyone is going to tell me that... that's just rude. i do have health issues (including thyroid) that make it tough, so even when i'm trying it's not that easy, and for someone to think it's appropriate to point that out to me is really hurtful. if you were this judgemental of her when she was living in your house, it might explain any emotional eating going on...
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 12:17 AM on Jul. 6, 2010

  • Are you sure she doesn't already know?
    mmmegan38

    Answer by mmmegan38 at 4:39 PM on Jul. 6, 2010

  • Lead by example and encourage healthy eating. If she doesn't live at home invite her around for dinner/lunch and make something nutritious. Suggest going for walks together every week or a dance class.

    Just telling her she is fat will probably lead to defensive ..instead I would try to just encourage and spark healthy habits in her.
    keyaziz

    Answer by keyaziz at 7:29 PM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • I agree with ThrivingMom too!!!
    My3LittleGirls

    Answer by My3LittleGirls at 8:48 PM on Jul. 5, 2010

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