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Need advice about mother-in-law situation

I'll try my hardest to keep it brief. I have a two year old and a nine month old and since they have been born I have tried to stay away from harmful chemicals. I have not wanted to spray weed killer in our yard because I want to feel comfortable letting my kids play outside. My mother in law cant stand that because her yard looks perfect and I dont care if I have weeds. She knows full well how I feel about the subject. I told her I dont want ANY chemicals on our lawn. Well, a couple of weeks ago we went out of town and she came over to MY house and "worked" on our yard. Without our knowledge or permission. She put chemicals in our pool, chopped down our rose bush, planted plants in our flower bed and sprayed our entire yard with weed killer. It killed all of our weeds and also all of our grass except for the crab grass. Our yard is completely brown. long story short, how would you handle?

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jacy3031

Asked by jacy3031 at 7:24 PM on Jul. 5, 2010 in Relationships

Level 2 (12 Credits)
Answers (18)
  • hmm that's a tough one I would probably tell her she don't have any rights whatsoever to come to your house and decorate your yard. I would also say how you keep your yard is your business not hers and she should take care of her own yard. I would also make her pay for new grass or turf..
    chica679

    Answer by chica679 at 7:27 PM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • She wouldnt be coming over to my house anymore.
    mybabybugssmile

    Answer by mybabybugssmile at 7:28 PM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • I've had problems with my mil for years and finally this year I had a sit down with after a huge blow out usually she's doing stuff to undermine me with my children but essentially she's not respecting your wishes I'm not sure where the line is with mil's but they can't help but cross it long story short I had a long talk with her about the way things were going to done with MY kids and MY house and if she didn't like it she didn't have to be around things have been good since then.
    MrsDeputy

    Answer by MrsDeputy at 7:29 PM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • I would thank her for the kind gesture but ask her to in future let you know beforehand as you have a preference to what is used on your garden as you worry about the safety of your children. Then tell her about the weed killer etc.

    Maybe she thought she was being helpful....so I would handle it in a way that would cause the least upset but at the same time get my point across. This has worked well with my MIL who doesn't do anything in regards to my son without asking first :)

    keyaziz

    Answer by keyaziz at 7:33 PM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • Have you posted this in the crapburger group yet? Those ladies will tell you exactly how to go about it, and call her a senseless witch to boot.

    It honestly depends on the circumstances. Was she watching the house while you were gone? Do you own the home? Is your MIL's name anywhere on the contract information?

    Because you could actually press charges for defacement of property if you want to be really spiteful about it.
    PhoenixFire

    Answer by PhoenixFire at 7:33 PM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • She wasnt watching the house and we own the house. What makes me so mad is that she KNEW that I didnt want to spray the yard because we had several discussions about it. So she waited till I was gone and then did what she wanted. then she actually lied about it when I confronted her about it saying that she only sprayed a little bit of bleach water on the some of the weeds when she obviously hasnt seen our yard since she sprayed. It is completely dead and very obvious that the entire yard was sprayed with chemicals

    jacy3031

    Comment by jacy3031 (original poster) at 7:37 PM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • Wow. I would have been pissed. It all depends on what kind of relationship you have with her. But personally, I would have let her know that she will not be called upon to watch the house anymore. I would have stated that she knows how I feel about that, and she deliberately undermined MY rules in MY house. What she did was disrespectful to you, and she will no longer be watching my kids, nor my house, until she can learn to respect MY rules at MY house. Period.
    Mme.Langley

    Answer by Mme.Langley at 7:38 PM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • She crossed a major line, and she knows it. I strongly suggest a group for you. You'll love it. These ladies have dealt with stuff like this for a long time, and they will have some great advice to help you through it (and anything else she may decide to throw your way in the years to come).

    http://www.cafemom.com/group/32665
    PhoenixFire

    Answer by PhoenixFire at 7:41 PM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • This is your husband's mother. It is his place to handle this situation. He needs to have a talk with her and set up some boundaries that you can all live with.
    ThrivingMom

    Answer by ThrivingMom at 7:43 PM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • Also, we were only gone for 2 days and she wasnt watching the house. She drove clear across town just to do it. We had barely even mentioned that we were going out of town!
    jacy3031

    Comment by jacy3031 (original poster) at 7:43 PM on Jul. 5, 2010

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