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He nit picks every little thing I do

I'm getting so tired of my husband complaining about every little thing I do. You left a few sheets of the toilet paper roll and didn't replace it. You use to much toilet paper which I tell him I have 2 ends to wipe unlike him plus I pee more then he does. He's starting to get upset that I arrage my closet a certain way, which I've done years before I met him. Hates that I wear high heel sandles again I did it before I met him. Now he's mad that cut 8 inches off my hair and made it short. I've been finally doing my hair again and putting on make up and he doesnt like it. I havent taken care of myself well since I was pregnant with my son. Who will be 1yr old in a couple days so two years of not doing my hair or wearing make up. He complains on how I do the dishes, how I cook certain things, how I do the laundry. He wants things done the way his mommy did it. I'm sorry when he learns to cook and clean then he can do it his way.

 
mommy_of_two388

Asked by mommy_of_two388 at 8:20 PM on Jul. 5, 2010 in Relationships

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Answers (11)
  • I think I would surprise him with pink hair.   Give him something nit pick about.  big smile mini

    musicmom08

    Answer by musicmom08 at 8:31 PM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • CONT
    Does any one else SO do the same? How do you handle this? It's driving me crazy. He deploys in less then 2 weeks and he keeps telling me he wants to make sure he's kids are taken care of properly and I do things right. I'm sorry I've been on my own since I was 16 and I know how to take care of things and I've raised our 2 kids pretty much by myself because he's eithr gone for work or when he's home he's to busy playing his games and/or ignoring the kids.
    mommy_of_two388

    Comment by mommy_of_two388 (original poster) at 8:21 PM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • just talk to him about it. tell him how it makes you feel. my dh didnt use to like it when i would get dressed up and do my hair and make up, but we talked about it and he understood when i explained why i do sometimes.
    jennifer588

    Answer by jennifer588 at 8:23 PM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • Ahhhhh, the second part of this question answered this! He is deploying soon...he is more than likely scared(stress) or some such feeling. I remember way back in 1990 when my hubby went off to war. I went to the EXACT same thing. Keep this in the back of your mind...Stay strong, I remember those days w/2 little ones. Good luck:o)
    Stacey833

    Answer by Stacey833 at 8:26 PM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • I've talked to him. He freaks out that I actually have feelings. I rarely cry and when I do he gets upset at me and calls me a cry baby. He doesnt like me to express feelings. Thinks feelings are worthless
    mommy_of_two388

    Comment by mommy_of_two388 (original poster) at 8:27 PM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • This has been going on for 3 years
    mommy_of_two388

    Comment by mommy_of_two388 (original poster) at 8:28 PM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • I have an SO like that and his opinion is the only right one now I say we are all entitled to our own. He starts to talk down to me because he thinks I am not doing it right. But after four hours of cleaning the house doing yard work and going to work it does not matter anymore. I just started doing things my own way and telling him I am more then capable.You have to tell him what you can do or he will run all over you. I would also sit him down and tell him you have been doing things since you were 16 GL Momma

    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 8:53 PM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • Him complaining about you doing your hair and make up makes me think he's insecure. Especially since he's deploying. Has he deployed before? Maybe he's worried about someone else finding you while he's away. The second part... Eh, I'd make him do his own cooking and cleaning so they could be done "right". I'd do for me and the kids and let him fend for himself.
    dmdblleb

    Answer by dmdblleb at 8:56 PM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • The best way to difuse criticism is to thank the person for pointing out what you are doing wrong. Then say you will think about what he has said and see if you need to change anything about the way you are doing it. No argument. No getting your feelings hurt. Just a polite thank you for your input. My guess is that there is something way more important going on with him, but he likely won't tell you what it is outright. Listen to what he says "between the lines." Husbands sometimes speak in codes, and his wife has to learn how to decipher them. Listen to every word he says, and really hear what he is saying. You will learn what he is worried about, what he is mad or sad about.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 9:22 PM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • ignore him or say "thank you for sharing." not replacing a toilet paper roll and wearing makeup doesn't have anything to do with your parenting skills. he's a control freak. he doesn't get to decide who you are and how you handle your personal care and hygiene. if he doesn't like it, too bad. my husband will have moments like that where he starts getting nitpicky - i just tell him "stop criticizing me" or i laugh or ignore him. but mainly i just say stop repeatedly until he does. i don't feel the need to defend nor explain myself. i just assume he's having some issues with himself and move on and do my thing.
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 10:25 PM on Jul. 5, 2010

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