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I have broken all my dating rules

So i've been single for 2.5 years now and am really happy with my life. I work, go to school and have full custody of both my girls. I date, I have rules of dating that i'v learned the hard way: He must be divorced at least 6 months, live near me (work, school, kids makes long distance hard), 10 dates min before even thinking of sex. I havent had a serious relationship in awhile, which is fine by me. But I ran into an old friend and he is in the process of getting a divorce, and i am head over heels! and I know he is too. He lives 2 hours away. Our mutual friends are all gun-ho for us and think we are perfect. I went camping with him (seperate tents and we both had our kids) this weekend and now am back home. I just want to get in my car to go see him. Uhhgg am I crazy and finally lost it???

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roxyann76

Asked by roxyann76 at 9:50 PM on Jul. 5, 2010 in Relationships

Level 6 (115 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • Yeah, he's not divorced yet, so back off a bit. You don't want to be the rebound girlfriend.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 9:52 PM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • That sounds good but just remember to take your time with him. So what if you broke the rules!!!
    momavanessa

    Answer by momavanessa at 9:52 PM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • Sounds like you have good rules in place. It's never bad to hang back a bit until you are more level-headed.

    HOWEVER.... my parents who were not even CLOSE to racy, started dating before my dad was divorced because they were simply meant to be, and I have never seen a happier marriage in my life. My cousin just hooked up with a friend of mine... he married, she dumped her boyfriend for him: seems like a bad situation, but again I think it's one of those rare cases where the right two people just found each other. Oh, yeah, and she's in college, never been married, and He's a grandfather! LOL!

    If you can, spend some time analyzing this and try to figure out if it's just infatuation or there's something real and worth it. Oh, and just IMHO, don't break the sex rule no matter what. Something that good can wait, and you'll have a chance to develope real heart-to-heart and mind-to-mind intimacy without getting it muddled. GL!
    Adelicious

    Answer by Adelicious at 10:02 PM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • I think it's gream momma! I also say enjoy it but take it slow. I probably shouldn't really give advice, I had 2 dates with my hubby and I locked his a** in, 11 years ago! I also broke all my rules at the time but it turned out for the better! Good luck
    LuvmyFam6

    Answer by LuvmyFam6 at 10:02 PM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • you have rules in place for a reason- to protect yourself from getting overly attached too soon and to protect your children. just because a few are the exception doesnt mean you should drop everything that you have going for yourself. take your time and wait, if its meant to be then waiting will not slow down the feelings you two share. you are a single mom of 2 kids- remember that, you dont have time to be someones rebound girl... and thats what happens MAJORITY of the time
    3xangel

    Answer by 3xangel at 10:24 PM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • Everyone is so cynical. How far into the process of divorce is he? My divorce took almost 2 years. I was separated for a year before I started dating. I have been with my SO for 9 months and my divorce just became final at the end of April. I think your rules are good ones, but rules are meant to be broken. I had dating rules too, I broke them, and I couldn't be happier : ) You're not crazy, you're happy. You don't say how long you've known this person, how well you know him, or if you're actually dating or not. You know yourself, you know your children, and presumably, you know this man. You don't need to rush anything, but you don't need to freak out because a couple of rules have been broken. Enjoy yourself!
    MeandMyBabes

    Answer by MeandMyBabes at 1:35 PM on Jul. 6, 2010

  • its called being realistic- not cynical. more people need to be realistic especially when they have children. rushing into things is the main reason why so many relationships fail and people get burned. stick to the rules mama, they are working for you.
    3xangel

    Answer by 3xangel at 12:21 AM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • Thanks Ladies I love the imput! I am not being stupid crazy. we are very careful about just being friends around our kids, I was actually going to go down tonight to see him while my little one was with her dad, but he has his kids so i get to stay home :( To me its just crazy that I've been soo overprotected of me and what will hurt me that to go out as friends one night with this guy and be so head over heels right now. Thats just not me. The few friends who know that we have gone out a few times and talk are soo excited for us and have nothing but compliments all around.
    Again thanks for listening and putting in some healthy words to ponder :)
    roxyann76

    Comment by roxyann76 (original poster) at 9:46 AM on Jul. 7, 2010

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