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so sick of dad giving in

how do i get my husband to stop giving in to my 5 year old daughter???? i am so sick of her getting whatever she wants out of him when i've already told her no. tonight is the perfect example. she keeps getting up and saying she's hungry. she has a different excuse every night. she ate a TON of food at dinner and we've already given her two bedtime snacks. she keeps coming out of her room- she won't stay in there for longer than two minutes max. and no matter what i say to her, her dad gives in. i feel like i'm going nuts!!! he always does this- i'm the parent who says something and sticks to it- he loves to be the "favorite" and give in to whatever she wants!!!!!

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Asked by racheljessee at 9:57 PM on Jul. 5, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 6 (131 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • My husband had tendencies to do this as well. So every once in awhile I go away by myself and he gets to spend a day or two with my dd. After awhile he gets fed up and realizes everytime he gives an inch she takes a mile. When I get home he is usually at the end of his rope and he is willing to discuss changes that need to be made.

    Answer by Meladori_Magpie at 10:05 PM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • Not only is he undermining your authority, but he is teaching your daughter that she doesn't have to respect you and that she can get her way with him. This needs to be nipped in the bud right now because it'll only get worse.

    Answer by browneyes27 at 10:06 PM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • I'm in the same boat. As I type this my husband is sleeping on the bedroom floor in my soon to be 4 year old DD's room. I have a breastfeeding baby that cosleeps with me so my hands are tied at the moment. As soon as I get out of bed to tend to the toddler, my baby is awake, screaming, and crawling off the bed. I'm furious that he started this bad habit. He's been sleeping on her floor since I had the baby. I agree with browneyes, but how do you nip this in the bud when DH doesn't respect you and won't listen?

    Answer by ThrivingMom at 10:13 PM on Jul. 5, 2010

  • You and your husband are going to have to learn to work together. When she goes to him to ask for something, he needs to ask you if you've been asked by your daughter first. Then you both can proceed with a yes or no as to whatever it is that she wants. My 6 year old does this all the time, and I remember doing it as a child myself.

    Answer by gumby11883 at 1:03 AM on Jul. 6, 2010

  • My dh tells my boys to get back to bed. Sometimes, they will come find us. In the past, I have had to camp outside their bedroom until they finally fell asleep. Every time they got out of bed, I made them get back in them. I like Meladori Magpie's suggestion. It couldn't hurt to try it out. My dh would refuse to sleep on the floor in their room. He just let them sleep in our bed. He would then either let them sleep with us for the night or he would move them into their beds. I told him something had to change & that I felt that this was causing a problem between us. Either way, it is a pain in the butt. Good luck on your decision on how to handle this.

    Answer by dustbunny at 1:10 AM on Jul. 6, 2010

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