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3 Bumps

WWYD? answer honestly PLEASE

SO a while back my ex was physically abusive. We were an immature couple by far. He started with a lot of pushing and bumping, me doing to same back, and one time he actually hit me. I called the police had him arrested and left him. We split and co-parented. We ended up back together, living, not relationship, and he has done a 180. He goes to counseling, other than court ordered, He practices what he has learned in anger management, he is addressing his childhood issues that are extremely difficult and he is a happier person. He feels that I should go to counseling too because what he did has probably damaged me internally. I am iffy about getting back with him, I FEEL that he has changed and is bettering himself but I cannot forget what he did. Even though I wish I could I can't. Maybe after trying therapy I'l know better what to do? I'm open but guarded. Psychologist said he is improving w/the help...lost


Asked by Anonymous at 2:14 AM on Jul. 6, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • I think since he is seeking treatment for the issues, then it might be worth getting back together, with the stipulation that he continues counseling. I also think that you seeking counceling about it is a good idea. Then you can know whether the relastionship is worth working through and if you can move forward or not.
    I think him seeking treatment is a huge step and shows he is working to be a better person. But I also think that you staying guarded is important and he shouldn't keep trying to make you forget what happened. Part of moving on is him proving to you he is a better person now. But he has to prove it and until he does, you should stay guarded.

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 2:22 AM on Jul. 6, 2010

  • In any event, therapy for you would be a good idea to help you deal with what's past.

    Answer by gdiamante at 2:22 AM on Jul. 6, 2010

  • Do you have kids together? If so I might give it a shot if I TRUELY believed he was changing... otherwise I wouldn't bother with him.

    Answer by Blueliner at 2:16 AM on Jul. 6, 2010

  • If you honestly want to get back with him I would wait till all the court order stuff is gone and see how he acts. He may just be acting nice because of the court order stuff he is doing. Then again he may of changed.

    Answer by itsallabtthem84 at 2:17 AM on Jul. 6, 2010

  • I think I'd try the therapy if I really wanted it to work.

    Answer by MommyH2 at 2:18 AM on Jul. 6, 2010

  • A therapist that is not connected to HIS case would be beneficial for you. With all that you have been through seeing a professional can help you with everything you have been through.

    Answer by pnwmom at 2:27 AM on Jul. 6, 2010

  • Therapy is ok, giving your life to God is better. My husband was really abusive before we were in church and married. He was an angry chrystal meth addict, and I was an over flirtatious selfish pity party. We went to counciling and it helped some but was quick to revert, the second my husband & I got filled with the holy ghost nothing was ever the same. We are happily married with3 girls a boy on the way. If you two have kids together and you really think he is changing for good and no longer feel threatened I'd give it a go. But don't hold what has happened in the past over his head everytime you get in a fight. you will probably still have arguments and if in every one the past becomes a bullet, it wont last. In the same measure if you see that "look" in his eye that your going down, drop him like a hat. Got to protect you baby love.

    Answer by ChristianMamaO3 at 2:35 AM on Jul. 6, 2010

  • i would def get help as well considering you did some hitting to i wish you the best!

    Answer by xaviersmamacita at 2:36 AM on Jul. 6, 2010

  • therapy will be a good thing for you even if you decide not to be with him. id get the therapy and deal with the rest at a later time. give therapy a chance.

    Answer by RoseWall at 2:42 AM on Jul. 6, 2010

  • i am a person who honestly believes people change, my mom was abusive to me and i didnt see her for 10years, and now shes the mom i wanted...if he is trying give him the chance to change and make him prove to you he can be the man you want him to be, dont just take a im sorry from him!
    good luck:)

    Answer by usmcgruntwife at 2:45 AM on Jul. 6, 2010