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2 Bumps

What would you do?

My mil is freaking driving me crazy! I can't stand her right now. She's addicted to Oxycontin, even tho she denies it. It's $50 for 5 pills at the drugstore..well..
She came over, and asked me for $50-$100. I told her I had money, lying to her..cause i know she would get those pills. She then tells me to get ahold of her son(my bf), who is a huge momma's boy from work. he works lots so he can barely call her..so she calls me like 20 times at my house, and 10 times at my grandmas house. I ignore her all times exept acouple. i told her i had no money. she left me alone on the weekend then decides to call me 20 more times today. i mean, shes driving me nuts. i told bf and he thinks im calling his mom down, when he gave her 250 of our grocery money to his mom for her pills, now i have barely money left for food.he made me mad that he dont understand. its like there both attacking me and i'm here by myself with our son. ughh.

 
CandieGirl09

Asked by CandieGirl09 at 9:18 AM on Jul. 6, 2010 in Relationships

Level 11 (628 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • does your husband realize his mother's addiction?
    if he is in denial then he needs to wake up even before he can start to think about how he is unabling her
    giving her money , which she spends on pills is doing her no favors
    if MIL says she needs money for food, then someone needs to go to grocery store with her and but her some, if it for bills, then she needs to show the electric bill (or whatever) and that person can pay

    an addict should not be given money flat out, they WILL use for their addiction


    you and your child should not have to go without for her problem, and your husband needs to know his child and wife are effected by his moms addiction
    fiatpax

    Answer by fiatpax at 9:31 AM on Jul. 6, 2010

  • either you and your bf need to be on the same page or you need out! if he puts her instead of his family first I would be pissed!!! why is her enabling her?
    kjbennett26

    Answer by kjbennett26 at 9:27 AM on Jul. 6, 2010

  • Set some very firm boundaries with them. You can't be a part of that situation, and it is not going to help your MIL if you are enabling her habit. Have a very serious but calm conversation with your BF and tell him how you are feeling and ask him what he thinks of his MILs habit. If he continues to support her, then , as difficult as it may be, you really need to move on and get yourself and your child out of that environment before it gets worse, which it will.
    nkkk07

    Answer by nkkk07 at 9:24 AM on Jul. 6, 2010

  • Serve you BF really aweful food this week! and very little of it itoo. (Make sure your son gets plenty of good food tho.) Tell him if/when he complains that you simply could not afford anything else since he gave the money away so his mom could support her drug habit. Also, unplug your phone.
    collier5

    Answer by collier5 at 9:28 AM on Jul. 6, 2010

  • First, you need to sit down and talk to your BF, and make sure you all are on the same page. Rather than attacking, tell him you love his mom too, and that is why you refuse to enable her prescription drug addiction. Talk to him openly, and listen when he talks to you. Explain to him, that while you would be more than willing to help with anyone else, you can't sit back while money is taken from your family that you all need to support her habit. Once you two are on the same page, BOTH of you go talk to the MIL.
    When you talk to her, present a united front. Tell her you are both concerned for her because you want her around to see the grandkids become adults. Both you and your husband need to set firm boundaries with her regarding what you will and will not help her with. Try to convince her to get help. If both of you stick together, you all can make this work out good for everyone!
    mommy11260

    Answer by mommy11260 at 9:42 AM on Jul. 6, 2010

  • He should not be leaving you without enough money for groceries. Shame on him! You need to have a big talk and gets things straighten out. Let him know tht can not happen again... For your MIL she needs help...

    Judmr

    Answer by Judmr at 10:10 AM on Jul. 6, 2010

  • If he decided to give her the grocery money.... let him go hungry. I would be out looking for a job and opening my own accounts. If he can't see his mom for the addict that she is there is just more trouble ahead of you....
    bcauseimthemom

    Answer by bcauseimthemom at 10:38 AM on Jul. 6, 2010

  • Your MIL is going to have to get in BIG trouble for her or her son to wake up and realize that she has a problem, and sadly that is how it goes. Since he gave her the grocery money, he needs to go out and buy the food for everyone in the house. Make a list and let him know that he HAS to get everything on it. When he sees that he can't get everything because he gave the money away, it might open his eyes. You also need to find out more about addiction, and when both you and your BF are calm, then talk to him about how you are worried about his mom. Let him know that she is part of your life and family now that you are with him, and only want the best. Tell him that you have no problem giving her money, but it can't be for drugs, and it can't be the money you guys use for bills or food. If she needs $20-$30, it's one thing, but when she starts demanding more, there is a problem. Good luck.

    krissyvelazquez

    Answer by krissyvelazquez at 10:52 AM on Jul. 6, 2010

  • NO MONEY!
    CandieGirl09

    Comment by CandieGirl09 (original poster) at 9:18 AM on Jul. 6, 2010

  • I would report him to childrens services. Spending a childs grocery money on drugs for someone else. I don't give a crap if it is his mom. Kids come first. He cant just leave a child with no food. CPS will come in and he will be in trouble for having no food in the house. You report him, or he will take you down with him.
    salexander

    Answer by salexander at 2:55 PM on Jul. 6, 2010

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