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Why do people use the phrase "Forgive and Forget"? Shouldn't it be "Forgive and Learn"?

I am puzzled by people trying to figure out how to forget. Forgiveness is difficult but to me it means you have run through the emotions and don't carry the hurt around anymore. Why should you forget? Wouldn't that be the same as forgetting that fire is hot? You know this person will do you wrong if you allow it, so remember that. You got hurt and the hurt was there to teach you. I just don't understand why it would be necessary to forget the action. Yes, let go of the hurt but never the lesson. Any thoughts to help me understand will be appreciated.


Asked by LauraMi261 at 9:55 AM on Jul. 6, 2010 in Just for Fun

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Answers (9)
  • like your saying better
    forgive but never forget

    sometimes it takes the universe giving you the same "bad situation" for you to learn,
    since did not learn the first time
    if a person forgot then they need to still learn
    so did not forget

    Answer by fiatpax at 10:08 AM on Jul. 6, 2010

  • Sounds good to me. I believe its like "ok,i forgive your stupidity,but I sure as hell am not going to let you do it again' I think the forget part is more for alot less severe issues,like to save a friendship or keep peace in a family.

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 9:59 AM on Jul. 6, 2010

  • I agree with you. It is just an old saying.

    Answer by elizabr at 9:57 AM on Jul. 6, 2010

  • I don't think you can forget if it is a major offense. It may come in time though. I think "Forgive and forget" is a saying that 1. is something only God can do (the forget part). and 2. is a trite little saying that we say. I like forgive and learn like you say. We are commanded by the Lord to forgive, but are we commanded to forget? As long as remembering what happened doesn't fan the fire of anger and undo the forgiving that we worked so hard to achieve, I don't see it as a problem to worry about. Until you get old and forgetful, have severe ADHD, Alzheimers, or are pregnant (smile), forgetting may be pretty hard to do!

    Answer by collier5 at 10:07 AM on Jul. 6, 2010

  • It should be forgive and remember or something like that. Sure you can forgive and live in peace, but you shouldn't forget. What's that other saying "fool me once shame on you; fool me twice shame on me". You do need to learn, if you know someone's track record then you set up boundaries to protect yourself. That doesn't mean that you haven't forgive them. It just means you are being "safe". If I knew my brother had a tenancy to take (steal) money then I wouldn't leave money laying around. That doesn't mean I'm hold a grudge against him, it just means I'm be proactive in helping to prevent more money from being stolen. If I know that my MIL would take any info I tell her back to my SIL or vica versa then I curb my tongue so that I don't have to worry about info going back to the other person. That doesn't mean that I haven't forgive anything in the pass. I'm just being smarter and trying to avoid future issues.

    Answer by SAHMinIL2 at 10:09 AM on Jul. 6, 2010

  • definitely believe in "forgive and learn" more than "forgive and forget"

    Answer by ibebreezy at 10:09 AM on Jul. 6, 2010

  • people aren't capable of forgetting.
    only God can forgive and forget.
    the point of the saying is, if you forgive, then you are not supposed to bring up the past in future fights.

    Answer by happymommy1105 at 10:10 AM on Jul. 6, 2010

  • I've always thought of the phrase, "Forgive & forget" not so much literally forget, but more like move on. Once you forgive, you may never forget the offense or you may still feel the hurt after the offence, but you can move on from the need to rehash the situation over & over & continually holding the offending person accountable, which lets you release the burden of carrying the grudge of unforgiveness.

    I also think there are some situations we allowed ourselves to get into which resulted in hurt, that we need to remember so we don't put ourselves in the same situation again. I personally just go by the "forgive & move on" rule. That works best for me.


    Answer by ghostwriter777 at 10:21 AM on Jul. 6, 2010

  • If you can't forget about the offense you haven't really forgiven it. When you forget something, it's not gone permanently, its just not there in the front of your mind haunting you like it did when it was fresh. We've all "forgotten" where we've set our keys or cell phone or someones name, but its not GONE forever. We find our keys and cell phone and we remember someones name. "Forgive and Forget" works. You'll remember the sin when you NEED to. Forget about it until then.

    Answer by Peregrine at 11:30 AM on Jul. 6, 2010

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