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Help me with my VERY angry 4 year old

Every thing isaw there did not help with my 4 year. he is the most angry child i have ever seen. we are out of options. the only time he is good is in school. we cant get him in anywhere. but we have 2 2 years and they see the 4 yr old acting angry and like a mad man. and now the babies are starting to act the same. i see my life slowly slipping out of me. i dont know what to do anymore. he has had a very rough life i have been with his father for a year now and before then he had seen the most violent relationship between his mother and father. his mother is a convicted felon with Domestic violence on her record and everything. and we believe that has alot to do with the way our little boy acts. he is so angry he hates me cuz i attempt to make him listen he asks his dad why he doesnt live with mommy and if he still loves her...my fiance draws a blank everytime. i dont know what to do please help me

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NCSHAHAN

Asked by NCSHAHAN at 12:47 PM on Jul. 6, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 2 (4 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • Sounds like you guys could use some family counseling. Blended families can be difficult without baggage, let alone all the baggage you've described.

    You should be able to contact your local school discrict or a public early childhood program to ask how to access early intervention programs. These programs are federally funded, not based on income eligibility, so you shouldn't have a problem getting in. Early intervention services focus on the child & family and may include a home visiting program which is very convenient for most families.
    UpSheRises

    Answer by UpSheRises at 12:53 PM on Jul. 6, 2010

  • Counseling and correction? Sounds like he needs to talk to someone, but allowing him to get away with stuff doesn't help either. He needs to know there are rules and consequences for breaking them.
    LostTheSlipper

    Answer by LostTheSlipper at 12:53 PM on Jul. 6, 2010

  • LOTS of love, attention, and patience! I also would definitly seek counciling. I had a child with anger and aggression issues. He just finished 2 years of play therapy and it has helped soo much! Good luck!
    sarahmae3

    Answer by sarahmae3 at 12:58 PM on Jul. 6, 2010

  • 1.Certainly needs a lot of love, 2.Def. some counseling., 3 no excuses. The more you make for him (he wont be better off) the worst off he'll be. Even at age 4 he has to be held accountible for his own acctions. Something you said stayed with me, he behaves only at school. Why? What do they provide there? Structure, routien, disicplan, etc... At school he isn't the little boy with the psycho mother, he's just another little boy, if he misbehaves he knows his discplin will be the same every time.

    All he needs is love, structure, consistentcy, attention & time... This too shall pass.

    Dad needs to be a little more real with him, if he just stairs blankly while his son asks such questions he's going to think (if he doesn't already) that dad is forced to be in this relationship with you & you some how keep him there. I mean he's still a 4yr old & only needs to know so much but stairing blankly doesn't help.
    Happ-eToBme

    Answer by Happ-eToBme at 1:56 PM on Jul. 6, 2010

  • Thank you all so much! i love him so much but its so hard when me and dad have such short tempers it ends up us walking away to calm down instead of dealing with the issue, but we did take him to a counceler and they said they could not help him and he was beyond what they could do, we needed to take him to a psychologist asap! so im hopingto find one of those soon! thank you all for your tips, i know he needs love more than anything and im trying my best,...
    NCSHAHAN

    Comment by NCSHAHAN (original poster) at 6:05 PM on Sep. 7, 2010

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