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MY family gave up on me?? Help

well today is my daughter birthday, and i invited my mom and she told me that they can't go because i know the reason why and because they are in england...
My mom went there and did not told me anything! yeah i got pregnant at 15 but now i'm only 16, i made a mistake but it seem's that my mistake will be forever, because she doesn't call me. She doesn't care about me anymore right?
I Guess i not her daughter anymore... I think she judge me because she think that if i got pregnant is because i was dating with different guys or something like that.. my daughter dad is the only guy i ever sleep with... it's not fair that she just gave up on me, know i feel i lost both of my parents, my dad died but my mom died only for me.
I wonder why they didn't invite me? because i'm a bad influence? she is ashamed of me? I think my own mom judge me!
They just gave up on me right?
because of my mistake i don't have a MOM anymore!!

Answer Question
 
Sofiah

Asked by Sofiah at 3:18 PM on Jul. 6, 2010 in About CafeMom

Level 9 (300 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • thats a tough one...have u ever talked to her and told her how u really feel....try to do it without getting mad and listening to her opinion without interupting...hope it all works out for u
    tlgifford

    Answer by tlgifford at 3:23 PM on Jul. 6, 2010

  • You are mad because they went to England and didn't tell you? You don't live with them from what I see or you would have known. I think you were not invited because you have your own life now with your daughter. People tend to plan vacations and who is to say this wasn't planned a long time before you planned her party. I think you are taking this way too personal. My mom isn't a part of my life much but it isn't losing your mom. She is the one missing out on your life and your daughter's. Continue on with your life and don't let her bother you.
    carmadsmom

    Answer by carmadsmom at 3:24 PM on Jul. 6, 2010

  • You're just living your life. I went through this sort of thing when I got married. I was only 18, and my father didn't approve. He was freaking horrible to my husband and to me. We barely spoke for the first three years of my marriage. He just couldn't accept the idea that I wasn't going to live my life the way he told me I had to. Eventually he got over it. We'll celebrate our 13th wedding anniversary in September and these days my dad and I see each other a couple of times a month. Your mother will either get over herself or she won't. In either case, all you can really do is live your life and do what you can to prove yourself as a good mom. Time is really the only thing that will smooth things over, as she sees your life working out the way you choose to live it.
    JulieJacobKyle

    Answer by JulieJacobKyle at 3:26 PM on Jul. 6, 2010

  • Hang in there, Sweetie. Unfortunately, some people are just that way. All that you can do is hope that she will one day she will change her mind.
    dustbunny

    Answer by dustbunny at 3:27 PM on Jul. 6, 2010

  • i ask her, why she is doing this to me,if she is still mad because i choose to keep the baby. and she didn't say anything. and i ask her what she want to me to say? or to do? she told me that i can eraise or turn off what happened...
    I told her that i want to her with me that i miss her but it doesn't seems to make any changes..
    Sofiah

    Comment by Sofiah (original poster) at 3:27 PM on Jul. 6, 2010

  • Ok Sofiah, you need to seriously understand that you probably let her down. I am not gonna candycoat this. It was probably not what she wanted for your path. She probably feels she failed you as a mother and it hurts her too. Now show her that she is wrong. Make sure you finish school because that is important as anything not only to you but to your child. She needs you to be the best you can. Now please don't take this wrong but your question and first response is hard to follow due to incomplete thoughts and grammar that makes very little sense. Make your life the best for you and your daughter. It may make your mom realize that you can get past a "set back" like having a child as a teen.
    carmadsmom

    Answer by carmadsmom at 3:34 PM on Jul. 6, 2010

  • That's her choice. Yes, it hurts you and yes it's going to sting when you need her and she's not around. But that's her choice to make. She's being selfish and holding onto whatever judgement she has made, but that's her choice. You have a chocie to be the bigger person. You have the choice to stand up against her and walk away. If you want to be something for your daughter, if you want to be something great. Then you have to show by example that you aren't going to play into your mother's games. Walk away. If your mother doesn't need you in her life then you don't need her in yours. Bad people don't deserve good people, and good people don't need bad people. So as much as it hurts. As much as it stings to know she's walked away. The only thing you can do for yourself and your daughter is to say "Goodbye". Take what you have and move on. It'll be better for you and your daughter in the end.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 3:39 PM on Jul. 6, 2010

  • Focus on the positive things in your life and send her the occasional reminder of how being bitter and stubborn is hurting her more than it is you. A picture of your baby might make her snap out of it and make her realize that even though you didn't do what she wanted you to, that there is a wonderful baby girl in this world and there isn't anything you would do to change that.

    QuinnMae

    Answer by QuinnMae at 3:45 PM on Jul. 6, 2010

  • Your mom is smart enough to know you can't go back, she apparently isn't wise enough to live past it.

    You have an obligation to your child now. Do you really want her to be around a woman who looks at her own granddaughter's birth as a crime committed against her? You had a child before you were ready to not be a child, but you CAN'T go back. YOU are MOMMY now. You just do your best and move on. Just like the rest of us Mommies.
    Liansmommie

    Answer by Liansmommie at 7:44 PM on Jul. 6, 2010

  • I am sorry for what you must be going through. I wish your mom would try and understand how much her support and just being there would help you and make you feel better. In life sometimes all is not planned, and does not go the way one expects. The most important thing is, you were responsible and did what you thought was best for you and your baby. Your mom should not ever hold this over you. I know it has to be so hard for you but focus on your little blessing and yourself. Hopefully in time she will come to see that you followed your heart and did the best you could, and that is all that matters.
    Kellyjude1

    Answer by Kellyjude1 at 7:57 PM on Jul. 6, 2010

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