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My mom found out I was molested by her other brother to.....but doesn't believe me......

I was molested when I was 7yrs old by my mothers brother. I told her when I was 10yrs old but I don't think that she really believed/believes me so when her other brother molested me when I was 15yrs old I never told her. 11yrs later my mother finds out (not from me..guessing my brothers told her because I had told them...she found out yesterday). She told me she heard the rumor and that I'm a liar and that he would never do such a thing...he's a very good man she says. She never asked when or what happened...she just called me a liar.....I knew she wouldn't believe me, I didn't argue with her. I just said she wasn't there and told her this is why I never told her....I don't have a question I guess....I just need some words of wisdom and love from others who have been in this situation.

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worriedmommy600

Asked by worriedmommy600 at 3:37 PM on Jul. 6, 2010 in Relationships

Level 23 (16,335 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • Hugs to you...its difficult when your parents do not believe you. I don't know you but I believe you...keep your head up and make sure that you heal from all of this...and despite what your mother thinks, you know what happend...
    mom2mybabes

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 3:39 PM on Jul. 6, 2010

  • It just hurts. I never told her because I knew she'd never believe. I don't know why she would think I'd be lying. I'm not after him to put him in jail...it's been too long for anything to happen I'm sure. I don't want to cause problems with the family. I know my mom came from a bad childhood and doesn't have many relationships within her family and this brother of hers she is close with. She already lost the one relationship with her brother because of what he did to me and I didn't want to cause my mom anymore problems. I try to understand where my Mom is coming from on this but if my son came to me and said someone touched him I would believe him and comfort him.....no matter how unbelievable it was.
    worriedmommy600

    Comment by worriedmommy600 (original poster) at 3:43 PM on Jul. 6, 2010

  • Just remember you did nothing wrong and if she doesn't believe than remove her from your life. I would seek therapy as well, just so you can find a way to move on without any severe issues, find a way to live with this terrible thing that happened to you and still be able to be happy. Hugs!
    geminisummerz

    Answer by geminisummerz at 3:43 PM on Jul. 6, 2010

  • you were there, and regardless of what she thinks, you need to heal and move past this. You were right for not telling her, she might have put a huge barrier up for your healing process and made it worse. HUGS.
    Spazz0828

    Answer by Spazz0828 at 3:43 PM on Jul. 6, 2010

  • Tell her to bug off. She's toxic, most likely was molested herself, and doesn't want to deal. Tell her that when she comes to terms with whatever's in her closet that's keeping her from being a decent human being, she needs to stay away from you and your kids.

    and keep your kids away from the lot of them.

    Sorry to sound harsh, but I have no sympathy for people who allow their own issues to interfere with the protection and love of their children.
    lovinangels

    Answer by lovinangels at 3:43 PM on Jul. 6, 2010

  • that's so terrible.. I would cut ties with my mother if this were my situation - there is no need for someone like that in your life anymore at this stage of the game. I hope you are able to recover from the torture you endured.. I am so sorry and my heart goes out to you!
    maxsmom11807

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 3:44 PM on Jul. 6, 2010

  • I think she may have responded that way our of guilt or anger at herself, possibly because she may have known.I think you did need to tell her when it happened and the police too for that matter.I don't think you should argue with her about it-they are things that happened to you and they are your feelings about them,that isn't something anyone can argue.It was obvious that you were looking for help or you wouldn't have told one of your brothers.I hope you are able to get the help you need,even if it is just talking about it. I can tell you that it helps to talk about things like that and not to think that you reason it happened to you.It may help to talk to someone that is a professional to get over it more.I am not sure anyone can get over things like that completely.Possibly taking your mother with you could help too. I wish you the best of luck and God bless you and be with you in this time. It will get better.
    candle5

    Answer by candle5 at 3:46 PM on Jul. 6, 2010

  • She can't handle the truth of what he did so it's easier for her to believe that you didn't tell the truth. There's nothing you can do to change her, and I would not even try. But you do need to tell someone all the details of what he did to you and get it out into the open. You pick the person whom you think will believe you, and you tell them all. Keeping this inside yourself will harm you in ways I cannot describe. I totally understand why you didn't tell her to begin with, but please find someone with whom you can bare your soul and tell it all.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 3:47 PM on Jul. 6, 2010

  • I hope these people are not in your life now or at least not close by. I wish you all the best. Believe in yourself and stay strong.
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 3:48 PM on Jul. 6, 2010

  • I'm sorry that happened to you, and I'm sorry that your mother isn't enough of a mother to believe you even now.
    Bezu

    Answer by Bezu at 3:57 PM on Jul. 6, 2010

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