Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

What do you do when people get too comfortable in your home?

My 22 year old brother showed up/invited himself over to my house today - I'm not feeling well (PMS!!!!) and I'm trying to get ready for a 4 day trip this coming weekend. He is just kinda sitting on the couch ... sippin' outta his water bottle. Then he says 'I didn't make myself enough for lunch. I think I'm going to have some pretzels, and some of those chips in there, what else do you have to eat around here?" he said pointing toward the kitchen. ... I am typically a fairly nice person, sharing and whatnot. And I'm all for helping out my friends and family ... (i.e. I helped him get the job he has now) But, he's kind of got a record of mooching off family - and I don't want him to start thinking he can do that with us. What do i say to get him to stop helping himself to my food, and to tactfully ask him to get the heck out of my house 'cause I don't feel like/have time for company right now?!?!?!


Asked by Anonymous at 4:35 PM on Jul. 6, 2010 in Adult Children (18+)

This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • I am very strict about anyone coming over. My family knows to call me first. If I don't want to have them over I lie and say I am going out. :) Now that rarely ever happens, hehe. In your case, you may have ot be up front and tell your brother you are busy and he needs to leave now.

    Answer by KairisMama at 4:38 PM on Jul. 6, 2010

  • Say "Thanks for dropping by, and hate to, but I need to ask you to leave. I am just slammed right now and really need to get ready for our trip this weekend."

    Answer by FuzNet at 4:37 PM on Jul. 6, 2010

  • Just tell him the truth.

    You are not feeling well and you've got a lot to do and it's time for him to either make himself useful around the house or to leave so that you can carry on with what needs to be done without any kind of distractions.

    Answer by outstandingLove at 4:39 PM on Jul. 6, 2010

  • I have a policy--with EVERYONE--that you have to CALL before you stop at my house. If I'm busy, or if I just don't want company, or if I want to hang around in the house naked--doesn't matter. It's MY house. So call first.

    Answer by BuddyRoo at 4:46 PM on Jul. 6, 2010

  • It is your brother....tell him the truth and show him the door.

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 5:09 PM on Jul. 6, 2010

  • wow, that is your brother, flesh and blood, you don't have to tend to him like a regular visitor. Honestly sharing food with a family member is a normal thing for me, I would never even consider saying no to food, unless there wasn't enough to share, I would tell him so. Why not give him the benefit of the doubt instead of refering to his record for smooching.

    Answer by older at 7:08 PM on Jul. 6, 2010

  • I think I would let him help him self to the food and tell him that I am going to go lay down because Im not feeling well. Then gently ask him what are his plans for the rest of the day.

    Answer by Esmrlda at 6:17 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • Be honest with him. Ask him why he isn't out working, etc. etc. Tell him you work hard for your money and can't afford to be taking care of another grownup. Let him know you love him, but it is time he starts being responsible.

    Answer by joysings at 12:42 PM on Jul. 9, 2010

  • When he shows up just don't invite him in. Stop him at the door. Tell now is not a good time for a visit and to call before coming so he doesn't waste his time.

    Answer by musicmom08 at 9:16 AM on Sep. 4, 2010

  • You've gotta leave... :)

    Answer by CAGirl4 at 4:42 PM on Jul. 6, 2010