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Sister issues

Ok my sister is always having get togethers and such at her house, she never invites me! We grew up very close, she even married one of my friends, I took care of her kids all the time when they were small, her kids are 12 and 10, mine are 1, 3 and 5. I feel like she never wants to be around my kids. I feel left out, she always says they aren't doing anything on the weekend but then will post pictures of her little parties on facebook, like I wont notice. She always says it was a last minute thing or that she didn't think I would want the kids out late or some other excuse. I am so hurt, I have tried to discuss it with her but she just doesn't see it or doesn't care. I don't know what else to do, I either need advice or just to know I am not alone. Oh and my kids are very well behaved so thats not it.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:51 PM on Jul. 6, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • Maybe you should just start hosting your own parties rather than waiting on her to always invite you?
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 4:56 PM on Jul. 6, 2010

  • good luck with this one-
    it could be many things. you say she married one of your friends? she very well may be jealous of the relationship you have with him.
    Have you considered talking to him to see if he has insight?

    I've got a SIL that's been known to do stuff like this.
    Like not invite us to a re-newal of their vows, then post on myspace about the perfect day it was.

    Hubby says he thinks it's because a few months before they renewed (I didn't know they had such plans) we renewed in las vegas. where I got to be a bride all over again, veil and all.
    She acted really mad about it- telling me that what I did was 'wrong' that I shouldn't have done it like that - that If I was to do so, I should have some simple and all -
    it's vegas- you can do anything!

    long answer I know, I'm sorry you are hurt, but there may be nothing you can do. I'd just invite her to things&be the better person. She's the one being petty.
    ItsMe89

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 4:57 PM on Jul. 6, 2010

  • I'd say you should have your own gatherings and just wait. See what happens. I know it hurts, so don't look at her facebook. I'd be sure to post your fun pictures though on your facebook wall. Two wrongs don't make a right, but sometimes if you take the bull by the horns so to speak and make your own fun, you won't feel so bad. She may or may not be doing it intentionally. I know others who go through the same type of thing with their friends and it is sad. It seems like it gets better when you don't have to live your life chasing others and trying to fit in. Some people just don't realize or don't care they are hurting others. If the situation was able to be controlled by you, then do it. Have your own gatherings.
    Lifes-A-Dance

    Answer by Lifes-A-Dance at 5:01 PM on Jul. 6, 2010

  • It's hard to say what the root of it is. Perhaps she does not enjoy your children? Perhaps she wants to do things with her friends? If I were in your shoes, I'd plan a party and invite her. Or I'd flat out tell her, "Hey sis, when I see pics of your parties on FB and don't get invited, it hurts my feelings. I sit here and wonder if you don't want me around or you don't want my kids around, or whatever. If there is an issue, will you please tell me so I have an opportunity to remedy? I don't want to horn in on your social life, but I really WOULD like to spend more time with you."
    BuddyRoo

    Answer by BuddyRoo at 5:03 PM on Jul. 6, 2010

  • You just need to sit down and write her out a letter. Letting her know how you feel. Don't attack her, don't accuse her of anything you assume, just let her know how you feel. Then leave it at that. Make sure to include how you grew up close and feel you've drifted apart, because I see that is a big part of it too.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 5:09 PM on Jul. 6, 2010

  • If you've asked her what you have done, and she won't answer you, then I don't think there's anything left for you to do except to accept that for whatever reason, she does not enjoy your company. That happens sometimes in families, and about the best thing you can to is to make another circle of friends and do things with them. She may be jealous of you, but there isn't anything you can do to fix that. so I think you just have to let it go.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 5:24 PM on Jul. 6, 2010

  • Find a new sister?
    JK
    I'm just as hurt as you are, my sister excludes me in everything...
    O.o well
    To get her back, I'm not telling her I'm pregnant, she can find out on Facebook!


    BooYah!  Take that dear Sister of mine!

    smokisses

    Answer by smokisses at 5:36 PM on Jul. 6, 2010

  • just find some friends that appreciate you. don't get obsessed with wondering why she's that way or trying to talk to a wall... just move on and be happy.
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 6:22 PM on Jul. 6, 2010

  • also... just take her off your facebook so you don't get your feelings hurt. you have other ways of contacting her.
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 6:25 PM on Jul. 6, 2010

  • My Dh's family does that to us all the time. We get to hear the stories, and see the pictures.
    PrdMilWife

    Answer by PrdMilWife at 11:25 PM on Jul. 6, 2010

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