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Ex-wife/Sibling Drama

Long story short... SO & I have know one another for 14 years, and have been together for the past 2.
His younger sister is still attached to his ex wife (despite everything that she has done to the family).
She (the sis) came for a visit over the weekend, and was completely disrespectful of me, my belongings, and our home.
She told me that I had no business in "His" house, and that I was circling like a vulture after he bought it (Never mind that *I* was the one who fell in love with, and we picked the house out together, with the intent of it being OUR home!!!) . He had a sit down with her after I told him what happened... Now 2 of his other sisters will be visiting THIS weekend- I don't want to offend, but I'm just not up to it... How should I tell him that we should reschedule for a couple weeks later so things can cool down?


Asked by ObbyDobbie at 5:10 PM on Jul. 6, 2010 in Relationships

Level 34 (70,074 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • Because you told your husband what happened and he sat down with the sister who abused you in your own home, I would say give your husband the chance to stand up for you just in case anything bad happens this weekend. You know what, focus on what your husband did for you. I think that is terrific and shows his committment and love for you and it is something to be proud of.

    Answer by LauraMi261 at 5:24 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • I would have them come anyway. The other two sisters can't be EXACTLY like the one who gave you shit. Maybe if they can develop some understanding for you & your marriage, then that can be a foot in the door with some of the other siblings who are being weird about y'alls marriage.

    I wouldn't harbor the idea of a bad weekend either. You being scared of having a bad weekend with them could actually encourage a bad weekend. I would keep my mind & heart wide open & kill them all with kindness so that they'll have nothing but good things to say about you. If they do say something rude, like the other sister did, I would just smile & say very sincerely "I'm sorry you feel that way" And if it hurt your feelings say "that was a very hurtful thing to hear you say" People need to know how their words affect people. They might see that what they said was really rude. Anyhow, good luck!

    Answer by samurai_chica at 6:07 PM on Jul. 6, 2010

  • His sister was way out of line. Really, how dare she say those things and be expected to be treated kindly in return. I would tell your SO that you need a break from his whole family for awhile and then open things back up for discussion in a couple of weeks.

    Answer by lilangilyn at 7:09 PM on Jul. 6, 2010

  • What does your SO think of what his sister did? If he is upset about it also then just ask him to reschedule. If he isn't upset then tell SO's parents that they can go there but, they need to be respectful of your home or they can leave. Sorry.

    Answer by matthewscandi at 5:24 PM on Jul. 6, 2010

  • not so sure you can. if the other sisters weren't involved in the situation, and they've already made plans to come visit- if you cancel on them for such a reason you may offend to the point of making things worse.
    it is your home and your decision, but realize that canceling may make things worse. Have you considered going to see someone while they are there? making yourself scarce of you don't want to be around them?

    they are his sisters, nothing says that you have to stay around to entertain them.

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 5:25 PM on Jul. 6, 2010

  • I know, and that is what I am worried about. I am just so worn out from this weekend, and the crap she pulled while she was here. He was upset, and talked to her...

    Like I said, I have known all of them for 14 years, and they have a hard time seeing us together after his divorce.

    It isn't that I don't want to see them, I'm just worried because of what happened, and I don't want another bad weekend. KWIM?

    Comment by ObbyDobbie (original poster) at 5:34 PM on Jul. 6, 2010

  • He's the oldest of 9 kids- and I am friends with all of his siblings (except the 2 youngest who are pre teens)... And was very close to one of his sisters (still am). I guess this weekend just made me anxious.

    Comment by ObbyDobbie (original poster) at 5:35 PM on Jul. 6, 2010

  • are the other sisters as catty? that's good that he stuck up for you - you shouldn't have to put up with that crap. unless the sisters all share a brain, i wouldn't reschedule - that's letting that little bitch control the situation. F that! you just be your wonderful self and don't let them get you down. my grandma hates everyone that is an SO of her family - she even offered my uncle's ex wife money to divorce him... some people are just that way...

    Answer by figaro8895 at 6:19 PM on Jul. 6, 2010

  • His family is Uber Religious, and disapprove of the idea of *me*. Period. Whether or not in his life, they simply can not accept me because I do not believe like they do (neither does he!!)... I have not seen the other 2 (he has 5 sisters), in 8 years.... All I can hope is that they have grown past this.

    Comment by ObbyDobbie (original poster) at 7:24 PM on Jul. 6, 2010

  • Thanks everyone!!!

    I was really feeling down over this... I have been basically a part of their family since I was 11- and best friends with his little sister (he has 5), and little brother (he has 3).
    Unfortunately, over the past few years we grew apart, and now that he has reentered my life, they are all flipping out because we're both divorced, have children, live together, aren't married (and don't intend to be)... Plus the religious issues.
    A couple of the little sisters became very close to his ex wife, and still talk to her (despite what she has done- can't even go there)- they feel like I somehow wrecked their family, though we didn't start seeing one another until long, long after both of us were separated. *sigh*

    All I can do is hope that this goes well- and, they decoded to come NEXT weekend, instead of this- so I get a little break, and get to finish painting the house!!! YAY!

    Comment by ObbyDobbie (original poster) at 11:09 AM on Jul. 8, 2010