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3 Bumps

How can I get control of my daughter?

My daughter is 7 and now that she is home for the summer it has been alot more stressful. If I am not entertaining her 24/7 she acts out and then gets my other two children at it as well. Once she gets her mind set on one thing she will not let it go for hours and me and my husband are at a loss for what to do. We tell her no and stand our ground but she completely freaks and turns the entire house into a frenzy. We have put her into her room so she could calm down and that does not work, we have tried to just walk away from it and ignore it and nothing seems to be helping. She gets herself so worked up that she makes herself sick. If you have any advice I would appreciate it it.

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AmyKyn

Asked by AmyKyn at 5:10 PM on Jul. 6, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 2 (4 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • Sounds like she is used to having her own way and punishes the rest of the family when she doesn't get it. I recommend two good books on parenting: SHEPHERDING THE HEART OF A CHILD by Tedd Tripp and HAVE A NEW KID BY FRIDAY by Kevin Leman. There is also a third that you might find helpful: BOUNDARIES FOR CHILDREN by Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend. You need to establish your authority with her and demand her respect. These books will help you do that.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 5:20 PM on Jul. 6, 2010

  • Is there something else going on in her little world?? We have issues as well with my dd's attitude, but I got some great advice on what to do. I'm going to sit down with her, away from everyone, ask her why she's acting like this, makesure there is nothing like not feeling well going on, then tell her this is how it is..either she does this _______, or I am going to start by taking away some privilege..then see how it goes. This is a tough age apparently and she may be going through her own emotional issues and doesn't know how to handle it either.

    My DD is having horrible nightmares of death and abandonment, so I know that the lack of sleep is causing some of it. But still, I think this is a power struggle and you HAVE to win this...somehow or it's only going to get worse. Give her chores, like help you make breakfast, set the table..keep her working, but with you and see if this is an attention thing between you and her
    ShelbysHope

    Answer by ShelbysHope at 5:21 PM on Jul. 6, 2010

  • well, does ignoring the fits help? I hate to see her making herself sick, but how many times has that happened?
    maybe she has anger issues that she needs to work out- have you talked to a school counselor or the like?

    ItsMe89

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 5:21 PM on Jul. 6, 2010

  • Have her play school with the other two (I assume they are younger?) and "babysit" them in another room for you for a couple of minutes at a time. Also, try to plan a schedule for the day, post it where she can see it. Maybe she misses the structure of school and is trying to see where the limits are by pushing.

    good luck!
    RedRowan

    Answer by RedRowan at 8:31 PM on Jul. 6, 2010

  • I second the book Have a New Kid by Friday. It's a quick read and easy to implement, though you have to be ready and willing to stand your ground. It works. I've not read the other two books, though.

    May-20

    Answer by May-20 at 10:45 AM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • this sounds like the type of household I grew up in. My younger sister would throw fits and my parents would ignore them...she would turn our whole household upset down whenever she didn't get her way. \ I remember going on outings and she would act a total fool and embarass us all. But since she was allowed to get away with at home, she was allowed to get away with out.The older she got, the worse her attitude became. Now she's a grown woman and my sis & bros don't deal with her much. My Mom (father passed away) thinks we should accept her for who she is and although I do, I don't deal with her at all because of her behavior. I know what I would do in this type of situation (considering I know what happens when children aren't held accountable for their actions & parent ignore it). Do something for her before its too late...
    mom2mybabes

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 1:53 PM on Jul. 8, 2010

  • I know my mom would have just whooped my - you know what-
    texasjen

    Answer by texasjen at 2:55 PM on Jul. 8, 2010

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