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3 Bumps

God tells our husbands to love your wife as Christ loves the Church

God tells our husbands to love your wife as Christ loves the Church. So what if your hubby lets his family talk bad about you and rarely takes up for you.
So my question is should I let it go. Should I just pick my battles. And tell them all off? So what would you do?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:34 PM on Jul. 6, 2010 in Religion & Beliefs

Answers (12)
  • I am NOT a Christian, so my answer may be a mood point to you...
    BUT that being said, I would openly ask my dh WHY he is not defending you against the
    harshness of his family and tell him how disappointed you are in him for his lack of respect to YOU as his wife , then I would go right to the source and voice your thoughts to them...
    gmasboy

    Answer by gmasboy at 6:39 PM on Jul. 6, 2010

  • Your husband appears to be unacquainted with the idea of God. Or with the idea that YOU are the family he SELECTED.... He's STUCK with the rest of them as an accident of birth.

    I wouldn't let it go. No way. He is NOT respecting you. Tell him so. And if it continues...well, we are told to forgive but weare NOT told to be doormats!
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 6:42 PM on Jul. 6, 2010

  • Definitely let him know how you feel about it in a gentle way. Don't wait until something happens to make you upset so that you can't talk to him calmly about it.
    NikkiMomof2grls

    Answer by NikkiMomof2grls at 7:04 PM on Jul. 6, 2010

  • Really it depends on how much this upsets you. First I would ask myself if I was being overly sensitive or defensive before I went to my husband. If you feel their comments are really out of line, then yes you should say something.


    My in-laws frequently make negative comments about all sorts of things, they really only have nice things to say about their own children. They are like this with everyone so I don't take it personally and I let it go. I bothers me that my MIL will repeat things that people say to her, but she isn't accurate at all, she twists the story or just plain gets it wrong, so I don't talk to about much except how great her son is and the weather.

    RyansMom001

    Answer by RyansMom001 at 7:14 PM on Jul. 6, 2010

  • Ask him why he is ok with his family degrading you and making you feel like a lessor person. Either he agrees with them or he has no idea how it is affecting you, and whichever the case, you need to find out and deal with it. Don't go off directly on his his family, that just forces him to pick a side and makes an even bigger mess. Talk to him about it rationally and make sure he understands exactly how it makes you feel.
    NotPanicking

    Answer by NotPanicking at 8:19 PM on Jul. 6, 2010

  • It also says right before that....
    "Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord.For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything." Ephesians 5:22-25

    Would you yell at God that he was doing it wrong? Of course not. So if you must say anything at all, say it in a loving way that focuses on your feelings more than his wrongdoing. If he is also religious point out the verse and tell him that you want him to be close to God and follow his word. If he doesnt change then focus on you. The Bible says to do your part, not to make sure he does his. How often are you around his family anyways?
    amber710

    Answer by amber710 at 9:20 PM on Jul. 6, 2010

  • I would tell him how you feel. That is not something that you should let go. If he does not do anything about it I would tell the family in the nicest way possible. Remember you are supposed to do everything with love.
    MsHouseWife

    Answer by MsHouseWife at 9:21 PM on Jul. 6, 2010

  • As others have said, I would try to talk to him calmly about it, in a way that does not put him on the defensive. He may not realize that he is not showing you respect, so it may help if you point it out to him in a gentle, loving way.
    Iamgr8teful

    Answer by Iamgr8teful at 9:47 PM on Jul. 6, 2010

  • I think you need to talk to hubby and let him know that his family talking about you hurts, ask him to defend you, there are ways to do it respectfully, and tell him that if it happens again without him defending you, then you will deal with it yourself.
    CuteandCurvy

    Answer by CuteandCurvy at 10:28 PM on Jul. 6, 2010

  • He won't know if you don't tell him. But you need to tell his parents this, too. Biblically, a man is to LEAVE his parents and family behind and "cleave" to his wife. You and your children ARE his family now. He is either a wimp (and christians DO raise their children to be weak and clingy) or he is a coward (fear is another trait of life in a christian family). If talking to him and quoting the bible verses doesn't work, I have a "do the right thing" spell I can send you.
    witchqueen

    Answer by witchqueen at 12:55 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

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