Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

Lasting effects of being sexually abused....

I was sexually abused by my 2 older brothers as a child. Now I have 2 boys and am pregnant with twin girls. I am terrified about my boys doing the same thing to my girls. My parents have no idea about what happened to me. Neither of them seems like "the type" to do something like that. I have so many friends who have been through the same sort of thing and I feel like it's way more common than people think. It scares me so much. The weird thing is my brothers and I get along fine. We all just pretend it never happened which I am glad for. I don't want the awkwardness of everyone knowing, or even them apologizing after so long. If my parents couldn't tell what was going on how will I be able to?

 
silly2plustwins

Asked by silly2plustwins at 8:08 PM on Jul. 6, 2010 in Relationships

Level 8 (225 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • Because it happened to you. And you will educate your children about inappropriate touching. And you will let them know they can come to you with anything and you'll listen. Trust in your instincts, you will know if anything happens.
    Austinsmom35

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 11:41 AM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • be very open with all your children. especialy your girls. make sure they know that if anything is going on they know is wrong they can always come to you for help.
    jennifer588

    Answer by jennifer588 at 8:11 PM on Jul. 6, 2010

  • I would guess that your brothers were also molested. Maybe not by your dad, but by someone. I certainly wouldnt leave them alone w/ your kids. I'm sorry but I wouldnt.
    I dont think that this is like passed down gentically if that's what you're worried about. You're right it does often occur in multiple generations, but that is because the bahavior is conditioned. It's sort of "what they know". Esp at the ages that your brothers were. While they may know it's wrong, they think its sort of common. and sadly it is. The effects are more far reaching than you can imagine. All that you can do is be aware, be open with your kids and do your absolute best to protect them, and make sure they know they can tell you anything. Be very careful who you leave them with. Even if you are only a few rooms away, know where they are, what they're doing and who they're with. Always.
    new_mom808

    Answer by new_mom808 at 8:41 PM on Jul. 6, 2010

  • Just watch your boys, be aware, you know that that sort of thing can happen so you'll watch for the signs. Teach your boys about right and wrong, and talk to them about "things" if need be. Make sure your girls ALWAYS know that they can come to you without fear of anger, or consequences if something does happen. And this is coming from a woman who was abused by her brothers too I know what your going through have some faith.
    Tes...Jacksmami

    Answer by Tes...Jacksmami at 1:19 AM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • How did they do this without mom and dad knowing or sensing something was wrong? did they do it around the same time frame or at completely different times in you life growing up?

    I'm sorry this happened to you, don't freak yourself out about this. I'm sure your a great mom and you will teach your girls about their bodies and how no one including brothers should touch them there. Hugs! it will be fine..don't worry.
    geminisummerz

    Answer by geminisummerz at 8:15 PM on Jul. 6, 2010

  • My oldest brother is ten years older than me and I only remember a couple of times when I was around 3 that he did anything. My other brother is 4 1/2 years older and would often be left to babysit me from the time I was 6.
    silly2plustwins

    Comment by silly2plustwins (original poster) at 8:22 PM on Jul. 6, 2010

  • I'm sorry I just think it's a little odd. What are the chances of both brothers doing this to you and different times in your life growing up. Do you think that they were molested themselves?
    geminisummerz

    Answer by geminisummerz at 8:30 PM on Jul. 6, 2010

  • They might have been. I'm not sure. I don't know who would have done it.... I also have 3 friends who were molested by older brothers and 1 by her own dad. That's why it scared me. Literally every friend I've been close enough to to tell me something this personal HAS had something awful to tell. How terrifying is that?
    silly2plustwins

    Comment by silly2plustwins (original poster) at 8:37 PM on Jul. 6, 2010