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What do you do when your husband wont discipline HIS child?

i am 20 yrs married a yr ago on the 20th and have a 5 yr old step daughter who lives with us 24/7...her mom is not ever around and never calls....she is usually a really good kid but lately shes been acting up much more than usual and my husband doesnt do anything about it...on the rare occassion i talk him into doing something he lets it be known (to his daughter) that he doesnt want to discipline just so frustrated!!!

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Asked by tlgifford at 11:26 PM on Jul. 6, 2010 in Relationships

Level 7 (172 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • People without discipline are asking for problems down the road... If your with her most the time and he is there and she is doing bad then enforce a time out. Talk to him about it what are you going to do when you guys have chldren together?

    Answer by Claudiomom at 11:30 PM on Jul. 6, 2010

  • haha we are bout to have a kid in feb. ive thought the same thing lol i guess ill worry bout that when the time wish me luck

    Comment by tlgifford (original poster) at 11:36 PM on Jul. 6, 2010

  • I would discipline her myself, ground her or take some of her things away. Her father needs to support you and teach his daughter that it is not ok to disrespect you and it wont be tolerated or there will be a consistence grounding or loss of privileges.

    Answer by geminisummerz at 11:37 PM on Jul. 6, 2010

  • I would say the some discipline with have to be taken because if your child is getting it then it would be unfair if the other is slipping up.. IF her mother isn't around assume the role your her step mom and talk to Dh about it he needs to be more involved.

    Answer by Claudiomom at 11:38 PM on Jul. 6, 2010

  • i agree with the pp's. you are her step mother and you need to enforce discipline even if dh doesnt.

    Answer by 3xangel at 12:47 AM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • explain to him that discipline is exactly what she needs to feel secure right now - children sometimes act out when they need the reassurance that someone cares enough to do something. of course this doesn't mean yelling, grounding, spanking, etc., but just giving her limits and expecting appropriate behavior. meanwhile, she needs someone to sit down and pay attention to her and talk to her. she is a young child, but she understands more than you both think and she obviously is having feelings about things and crying out for attention. as much as she needs discipline she needs attention and love too to help her through this. your husband may feel helpless in this situation and not want to add to the problem. try to explain this to him differently.

    Answer by figaro8895 at 7:46 AM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • Well, you both need to be on the same page regarding disipline. My partners disipline is talking to my step. This is soooo not working. Good luck.

    Answer by DebbieA at 9:52 AM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • ah haha this prolly been much more effective if i would have elaborated and not just hurried up and typed cuz i was mad haha but i do take the responsibility as the mother...not just step mom...i am her mom! in ever way i am her mother i feed her, i discipline her, when shes sick im the one who takes care of her, when she has bad dreams i'm the one gettin up at 3 in the morning to tell her everything is ok, this girl comes to me for everything!!! wat frustrates me is the fact that her dad wont back me up! she lied straight to my face today and he was tryin to get her out of it sayin well maybe she was confused....shes not stupid she just knows how to munipulate him and its very irritating when im the one getting yelled at when she does something wrong

    Comment by tlgifford (original poster) at 9:34 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

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