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14 Bumps

Married Women I have a question

Did any of you married women have a really hard time in your marriage where you thought maybe it wouldn't work out, but now things are smoothing out??

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Amber211

Asked by Amber211 at 11:29 PM on Jul. 6, 2010 in Relationships

Level 12 (884 Credits)
Answers (34)
  • dh and I use to argue alot and still do from time to time. We just talk about what is going on and how we can improve that seems to be helping alot.
    Claudiomom

    Answer by Claudiomom at 11:32 PM on Jul. 6, 2010

  • lol things r sort of smoothing out! we definitely still have our days...but we've only been married almost a yr...itll be a yr the 20th of this month...everyone says the first yr is the hardest and i agree! lol ive also heard the first 5 yrs r the hardest....i pretty much think the whole thing is difficult it just gets easier and u learn how to deal with things better
    tlgifford

    Answer by tlgifford at 11:32 PM on Jul. 6, 2010

  • I REALLY hope so! This is a lot harder than I thought it would be!!
    Amber211

    Comment by Amber211 (original poster) at 11:34 PM on Jul. 6, 2010

  • we have had our ups and downs for sure. been through things that would be a real reason to give up (2 of the the 3 As) and honestly i dont want to be with anyone else. i love him and he loves me and we would rather work on things than give up. we always come out of it stronger and with more love than before.
    jennifer588

    Answer by jennifer588 at 11:34 PM on Jul. 6, 2010

  • All of the difficult times in our life have come from outside problems. Life has thrown some pretty major crap at us, and those things always remind us that we need each other to stay strong and fight together. I think part of the reason we've had such an easy ride in our marriage is because we've had to deal with so much together and the fight was never directed at each other. We've been married 12 years (will be 13 in September).
    JulieJacobKyle

    Answer by JulieJacobKyle at 11:38 PM on Jul. 6, 2010

  • Yes. Unless a compromise was made, the issue would go undercover only to rear its' ugly head again; new and improved. We learned to pick our battles and sometimes, agree to disagree.
    Ewadun

    Answer by Ewadun at 11:38 PM on Jul. 6, 2010

  • oh hun...marriage is a "work in progress". You are always learning something. Either about yourself, your husband or your kids. There are times that will challenge and will really stress you out if you let it. Just remember the reasons you got married and that will sustain you through the tough times. Always be honest with your partner no matter what and learn the value of compromise. Do so with respect and you will get through anything...together *S* BEST WISHES to get through this rough patch....look for the silver lining in your dark cloud...cause it IS there....
    truetigress

    Answer by truetigress at 11:59 PM on Jul. 6, 2010

  • yep and it lasted for a while, but now things are getting better and we both are putting in the needed effort and action needed to keep things balanced in our marriage. you cant give up, you both have to work on it together and you have to stay positive or the bad times will take you out! i love him even more now and he is the man, husband and father that we need him to be. tell him your expectations of him and vice versa, i hope everything works out for you. good luck you need it for this fight, also try the love dare and fireproof movie. it opened both of our eyes... if you are a religious woman you should pray and work on your relationship with God, it will help you through this time.
    3xangel

    Answer by 3xangel at 12:42 AM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • 2.5 years and 2 kids later, we've learned to really truley effectively communicate. At first we were just not arguing or even talking about ANYTHING we disagreed on and I wasn't telling my husband when he hurt my feelings and I'd try leaving little hints if I wanted to go out to do anything special but that wasn't working. My husband is in the military so we HAD to talk and EFFECTIVELY communicate with each other everything or else the literal distance between us would have turned into and emotional distance and that's not good for anyone. Nowmy husband discusses different parenting approaches with me (in the beginning he just left everything up to me to decide and then just did what I told him), we talk about his day at work (no matter how little of it I really understand), we've learned to discuss things in a nonconfrontational manner. And as of right now I think we might just make it for the long haul.
    GigantaursMommy

    Answer by GigantaursMommy at 12:47 AM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • The hardest part was getting married young and having to deal with real life decisions, 8 years later and we both grew up and our marriage grew stronger. There's still days when I think its not gonna work, that's usually when he piss me off lol.
    kira25

    Answer by kira25 at 1:49 AM on Jul. 7, 2010

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