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Another WWYD question...

My daughter is almost 15. I am fairly certain that one of her friends is preganant (19 year old boyfriend she has managed to hide from her parents). My daughter is going to try to convince her to get tested.

At what point (or at any point) should I bring my concerns to the parents?


Asked by rkoloms at 5:44 AM on Jul. 7, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Level 35 (72,823 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • Honestly I'd say it really depends how close you are to the other family. I think as parents we do have an obligation to protect children we know, sometimes this falls on deaf ears but at least we have the peace of mind that we tried. Unfortunately this isn't always well recieved and sometimes people have different points of view in regard to what's acceptable for their family. It could also damage the relationship between your daughter and her friend. Have you talked to your daughter about telling the other girls parents? I think having your daughter there to help her friend with the pregnancy test is a good step, maybe you can help the girl by talking more to the both of them about sex and boys and getting involved more. I do this with my son's friends when I know their parents don't care about the alcohol or the chewing tobacco..I put in my two cents and walk away. Sometimes it helps, other times it doesn't.

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 11:08 AM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • Well...sounds like you guys are very caring, but I believe that you shouldnt stress over a situation that has nothing to do with you. Most times when people try to help, the other party gets it wrong...who knows how these parents are going to react towrds you. Just look out for your child first, now if you see that this teen is pregannt and its trying to hurt herelf or the baby, then you should say something, but mean while, you should let the pieces fall into place..she might not be pregnant. GOOD LUCK!

    Answer by Marinewife7-18 at 5:52 AM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • Take the test first b4 you get her parents involved. If it is No then perhaps you can help her get some BC at planned parenthood or the county or wherever you have it for free. If it is yes then you need to talk to the girl and see what she wants to do in that talk you can share with her that if it were your daughter you would want to know. Maybe to give her a parent perspective so she feels calmer talking to her parents. As prior poster said you have to tread carefully with this becasue it can quickly turn on you. Good Luck!!!

    Answer by mom2priceboys at 6:15 AM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • You should tell the mother now. As the mother of a 15 yr old daughter I would want her friend's mother to let me know that she has a secret boyfriend (much older) AND that she might be pregnant.

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 10:17 AM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • I agree with blessedwithboys, If I knew the mom I would....Say something? Not sure how I would go about it, but, if this girl "thinks" it is possible, then she is sexually active and that in it self is enough. If she isn't pregnant than she still needs to know because bc is needed. But being honest with this girl would be the best thing to do, her mom needs to know!

    Answer by wallmom1 at 12:40 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • It would depend on how well I knew the parents. If I knew them well I would have a lunch date with the mom and voice my concerns.

    If I didn't know them well, then I would work through the DD, I would sit down and talk with her and offer any help I could...including going with her to talk to her parents.

    The parents need to be told, but it is a delicate thing that you are presenting them with, so there is a fine line that needs to be walked. I am also sure the DD could use some extra moral support, maybe just knowing that there is someone on her side will help her do the right thing.

    Good luck!

    Answer by luckysevenwow at 2:33 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • Perhaps you could suggest that she tell her parents with your help.I still worry about a now semi -former friend .Close friends with her parents and I realized she was sleeping with an older guy also.Our dentists son.My daughter pleaded with me not to break her secret to me.Anyway imagine my horror as I overheard them talking in our study 3 years later.... last year the friend is explaining to my very upset daughter he had agreed to come in for prom in exchange for 3 BJs,3 sex and 1 anal.This is a stunningly beautiful,brilliant girl who chose a less college to be in the same town as he enters his 6 th year ya know flunking does that.I think I should have talked to the parents with her.


    Answer by drfink at 11:49 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • I mean I see where you are coming from..wanting to tell the parents. If the girl is pregnant she needs medical treatment.. But honestly, I wouldn't say a word.. it's not your place to tell.

    Answer by SuperrMommyy at 9:30 AM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • I understand what everyone is saying. If my 15 year old had a secret 19 year old boyfriend, I would want someone to tell me...

    Comment by rkoloms (original poster) at 9:53 AM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • I personally wouldn't get involved. I would remind my daughter to be a supportive friend, and make sure she learns a lesson from her friends example.

    Answer by mama2br00ke at 5:10 PM on Jul. 7, 2010