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3 Bumps

How would you handle it if

you saw your x sister in law in town and you are with your kids and she has not seen her neices in 11 years.
What do I say? What do I do?

How would you handle it?
I would love for the kids to know their fathers side of the family, I just don't want the oldest to get hurt as she did when she was younger. It is a difficult situation.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:27 AM on Jul. 7, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • It would be weird. I don't know if I'd say anything. Has she or any of his family tried to have contact with you or your kids? If not then I probably wouldn't have even said anything, and probably ignored her.

    Answer by CAGirl4 at 10:28 AM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • If she didn't say Hi, I probably wouldn't make the first move.

    Answer by Jademom07 at 10:30 AM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • I would say if they have never tried to make contact don't do anything. I have in laws that are complete but heads and don't talk to my daughter about them because they could care less about her. I think when she gets older she will start to ask and then I will tell her but she has so many people that love her already, what they have to offer she really is not missing.

    Answer by Savymom25 at 10:31 AM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • Honestly, if it were me, and none of them had tried to make contact with me or my children in 11 years, I would not say anything to her. You can't force them to want to be a part of your children's lives, and ultimately it is their loss. Trying to bring them back into their lives now, would ultimately confuse your kids. And honestly, if they do not want to be a part of your children's lives, it would set your kids up to be hurt.
    Why don't you just leave it be for now, and when your kids become adults if they want to reach out to them they can.

    Answer by mommy11260 at 10:32 AM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • If she approaches you then say "Hi, these are my kids ... How've you been?" and act like it's great to see her. However, I personally wouldn't do or say anything unless they approached me. Then again I'm super awkward like that.

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 12:02 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • Thats hard for me, b/c I am really good friends with my XSIL. We actually live 2 houses down from her - and its great b/c my nieces are like daughters to me, and they come up here every day and help me clean/care for the children.

    On the other hand, if it was my xfil, I would just keep walking. He had nothing to do with DS1 when xh and I were together and hasn't made an effort over the last 6 years... Like I would really say to my son "Oh, look its your papa" and he would get all confused b/c he already has 2 papas... KWIM?

    Answer by MunchiesMom324 at 12:09 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • You handle it with dignity and grace. If she approaches you, speak. If she inquires about the kids, explain to the kids who she is...You don't owe her anything, however you do owe your children protection from people (family) who refuses to acknowledge the kids exist. Whatever happend between you and the father, is between you and the one else should get involved. But always shine in front of your children when it comes to people that you could careless about...

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 1:51 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

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