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3 Bumps

how many of you?

How many of you feel like you have to pull teeth to get your husbands to help out with the kids daily chores? Or am I alone on this one? I have to say I have a great hubby but sometimes when he gets home he forgets that I have been cooking and cleaning and taking care of kids all day and when I ask him to do something for our kids he does this sigh before saying yes or even better telling me he is tired do I mind to do it tonight. I have talked to him about it but I don't think he gets how much I really do during the day?

Answer Question

Asked by l0v3myg1rl5 at 11:44 AM on Jul. 7, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 9 (315 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • I know exactly what you are saying! My husband gets home, sits down, watches TV and tries to fall asleep then has the nerve to ask what's for dinner.

    Answer by colethky at 11:50 AM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • I work full time, and don't have a husband. I am a single mom.

    Answer by Spazz0828 at 11:52 AM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • i'm sorry. it shouldnt be like that. my husband is great. i dont even have to ask him to help, he just does.

    Answer by jennifer588 at 11:53 AM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • Thankfully I don't have this problem. My hubby gets home from work and jumps right in helping with our boys (ages 9 yrs, 5 yrs and 7 months). There are times that he'll complain about helping but that's usually the days that he worked long hours in the heat.

    Answer by LorisChar at 11:53 AM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • This is the way all men used to behave. They worked and made a living while their wives took care of the home and the children. The idea of men being expected to help when they get home is a relatively new one. My husband is a great dad, and he is one of the most hard-working men I know. When he gets home in the evenings, he is mentally and physically exhausted and he needs a little time to unwind. I think most men would be willing to help more after they've had a little rest if their wives knew how to properly ask them for help, rather than feeling like it is owed them. There is a wonderful little book that I highly recommend. The title is FOR BETTER OR FOR BEST by Gary Smalley. Men are not wired like women. We can take care of several things at once. Men can't do that. Most of them can only handle one task at a time, and they have to give it their fully undivided attention. Once you learn how, you can get help.

    Answer by NannyB. at 11:56 AM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • If the husbands have been working hard on the job all day, and the commute, then they probably do want to come home and take a break. They may assume that since they are working on the job and their wife is her own boss that she has the easier task. What they overlook is that the SAHM's job is a 24 hour job and that she needs a break, too. See if there is some specific task that he can take over. Say maybe bathing the children, but only after he has had his break. We want the husband to be happy to get home, to view home as a haven, a comfortable and happy place to be. So let him come home and read the paper, eat his meal, and then bathe the children. He'll get some interaction with the children, and since it is a specific task at a specific time, then he can plan on it and he'll feel comfortable in the time he does have for relaxing.

    Answer by Bmat at 11:56 AM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • :( That has to be tough.
    Mine isn't like that. He does a lot when he gets home from work. Sometimes I have to tell him to go on and relax and take a nap or something because he looks so tired.
    But if he didn't help out, I'd be upset too!

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 12:05 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • Never had this problem mine did anything and everything without asking.

    Answer by older at 12:11 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • We both work so we are happy to share the chores of the kids. For the most part though, I do baths and pj's...but we both play and swim with them when we get home. He tosses laundry around. I am an office manager, so I work in the cool. He works outside and it is a barn burner here this week. Temps pushing 100 I try to let him rest up. Last night he fell asleep at 7:30. This heat sucks the life out of you in a short time.

    Answer by salexander at 12:54 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • So after posting this i had a talk with the hubby and I think he finally understands that I don't expect him to do everything at night but I just want a little help here and there and he said that sometimes he forgets how much that I do during the day. He also said that he wants to be a better husband to me and hates that I felt so alone doing it all by myself. I told him that I understand that he needs some wind down time but that I also need that too and that we chose to have kids and that they are both of our responsibilty and that he can't just be the guy that plays with them. and he agreed. Thanks ladies!

    Comment by l0v3myg1rl5 (original poster) at 12:54 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

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