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i dont want my kiddo to go to his grandmas! am i wrong?

he is almost 19 months old... and its not the grandparents im worried about he goes over their all the time ... but his grandma said she wanted to take him friday night until saturday... she also has my sister in laws 2 kiddos over there right now the boy is almost 9 and the little girl is 2.5 she is the one im worried about.. the last 2 time we went over there during the past week she has thrown things at him, kicked him, pushed him and hit him and slammed his hand in the door... the door may have been an accident but she knew what she was doing the other times... he cant touch anything in the house with out her throwing a fit and im not sure i trust for him to be over there when she is there because she is really mean to him.. and i know how hard it can be to watch 3 kids at one time... how do i explain this to his grandma so she wont be to mad at us... im afraid if we let him go we will get a call from the ER or something

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jaksonsmommy

Asked by jaksonsmommy at 12:34 PM on Jul. 7, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 16 (2,610 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • I think you are not wrong.Maybe instead, go with your child.and stay and have a nice visit with him and them.and then leave when you are ready to with him.
    evelynwest

    Answer by evelynwest at 12:36 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • I really do not think there is a way you can explain it without hurting Grandma's feelings. After all, even though you may not mean it that way, no matter how you say it, it will come out like you don't trust her to keep him safe from the other little one. If I were you, I would tell her that we could both come visit, even stay all night, but that I just was not comfortable with him staying overnight anywhere without me yet.
    mommy11260

    Answer by mommy11260 at 12:39 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • Totally understandable. It sounds like Grandma thinks it would be nice to have her grandkids over and it would be fun. It might be overwhelming too. I'd gently have your husband (its his mom?) explain that while you want your little guy to stay over with them, the first time it would be nice if he was there alone just to see how things went. Its his first time and you know he will have a great time. Then you don't have to bring up the whole mess with the other kid and it doesn't seem like they can't do all of them. You just want it to be a special time with them and see how it goes.
    Lifes-A-Dance

    Answer by Lifes-A-Dance at 12:39 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • I can see why you would be concerned. If it were me I would say "thank you for the kind offer, but I feel it might not work out very well to have both the 2.5 yr old and my son spend the night at the same time as they don't seem to get along very well. It might be better to have him spend the night some other time." If mil wants more tell her you are worried about the girl hurting your child, as she obviously does not get along with him (maybe she is jealous cause he 'took her place' as the baby of the family?).
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 12:40 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • Just be honest. I know that can be hard sometimes, maybe have another day set aside where grandma can have just him. Go with the whole "one on one" time thing, this may help even the blow.

    It sounds like your niece has hit the terrible 2's full boar, are they doing anything to correct it?
    luckysevenwow

    Answer by luckysevenwow at 12:40 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • he has stayed once before with the 2 other kiddos but they were all much younger and i remember he didnt sleep well and we got to hear about it... yes it is my SOs mom so i dont know how to go about it. i dont want to hurt her feelings but they are handfuls and you cant keep your eye on the kiddos 24/7 ... his cousin is just so mean to him and i dont know why
    jaksonsmommy

    Comment by jaksonsmommy (original poster) at 12:42 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • I would let him stay. That little girl is his relative & she needs to get used to him. You should go over there with your son & play with the little girl & ask her if she can be a big girl & help take care of him. I understand your worry, but i would still let him go over there. I would also talk to grandma & sincerely tell her about how you feel. Tell her you are scared he will end up in the ER with the little girl around. Just talk to her about it. Let her know how you feel in a friendly manner.


    Obviously, the little girl is jealous of him.

    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 12:43 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • I would tell grandma that the little girl is jealous of the new baby and needs some exta grandma time and that she can take the baby over night when it is just grandma and him. Tell her you want to wait a little until the little girl gets used to the baby always being around before you try all three kids over night. She may see the baby as a threat to her place and needs the extra attention and love from grandma right now.
    jen699

    Answer by jen699 at 12:44 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • Tell her just like you told us. She should understand. I am not about to put my kid in harms way to make anyone happy...are you?
    salexander

    Answer by salexander at 12:49 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • Don't worry about hurting any feelings. It is your child and you are the best judge of a situation. I would not let my DS sleep over with the other children until he is older. Three children at one time for anyone who is not accustomed to it is too much work, especially at those ages. Maybe Grandma thinks it's too much of a responsibility too but doesn't want to leave your DS out so you won't be insulted. I would say that you think right now it's too overwhelming for him with the other two children. What if the other little girl really hurt him or just opened the front door and he walked out while Grandma was making a snack or Dinner? I am a safety freak so I would not even have a second thought about him not going. Your SO should understand too since it is his Son too. You should tell his Mom this way she knows exactly how you feel. She was a Mom too so she should understand.

    ILovemyPaulie

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 12:56 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

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