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4 Bumps

Adoption?

have you done it? would you do it? if you have what was your experience and how did you go about it?

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jaksonsmommy

Asked by jaksonsmommy at 12:38 PM on Jul. 7, 2010 in Adoption

Level 16 (2,610 Credits)
Answers (17)
  • I haven't but I would.If I knew there was a genetic disease that I carried.That caused major health problems.I would adopt instead of carrying it on to a baby.
    evelynwest

    Answer by evelynwest at 12:40 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • I would do it in a heartbeat if we were financially stable or there were other concerns.
    Nindy

    Answer by Nindy at 12:41 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • Long sigh...
    For the love of all that is good in this universe- stop referring to children as "your own" !!! It is incredibly insulting to an adopted child. Once you adopt, that child IS YOUR OWN! The correct phrase is: biological. That grinds my gears more than anything else on this site.
    To the OP- Yes, we have adopted. We adopted from China 3 years ago. Our process was over 2 years, but so worth it. Our dd was 17 months old when we met her and she is 4 1/2 now. She is the most amazing little girl and we love her more everyday. We also have a biological daughter that is 23 months old.
    mcginnisc

    Answer by mcginnisc at 2:12 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • My sister is in a foster to adopt program and has 2 children from the same family, she has a 10 mos old and a 3 1/2 year old. She got the baby right from the hospitol and the little girl when she was 2. They are about to be put up for adoption in a couple of weeks, which means my sister and her husband will be able to adopt them. The parents and their family have nothing ot do with them, so it looks really good. I'm sure it will be be at least a year before they can actually adopt them, but it will be well worth it. She did loose a baby after 6 monthes, she went to live with her aunt, my sister was heart broking. There are many ups and downs in the foster to adopt program.
    staceynoel

    Answer by staceynoel at 2:55 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • Christian-mom79: Um my children are my own and yes I adopted all of them. Please do any children that may join your family through adoption a favor and get yourself some counseling for your grief over your fertility problems and some education regarding adoption and all the feelings that come with it. Read some books, attend a seminar, talk to adoptees and women who made an adoption plan for their children. If it makes sense to you to refer to biological children as your own and adopted children as a distant second choice then you are not ready to adopt by any means. So sorry if I came off as harsh but please realize how important this issue can be. It only takes one hurtful comment from a parent to ruin a child's self esteem.

    Luuckymommy

    Answer by Luuckymommy at 3:33 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • We have adopted three of our own children! :) They are amazing, happy, wonderful, delightful!!! Dive in! Do your research! The internet is full of info. Some good. Some bad. Books are a great resource too. tapestrybooks.com offers all sorts of adoption related books.

    mommyheymommy

    Answer by mommyheymommy at 8:01 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • Sometimes we have to help family members see how their words might be heard by a child, too. I have a second cousin who said in front of my children, "they are so lucky to have you". I responded that I am lucky to have them. It bothered me only because she would not have said that about a biological child. She meant well, but to a child's ears that might tell them that they are different. My kids have a family and all that they need, but I don't think they are lucky that they lost the chance to be raised by their families of origin. I don't think they're lucky that circumstances right now are that we can't have face-to-face visits. I worry that if this continues, their birth moms will be strangers to them, known only from the pictures and stories. They will have some grief to work through as they come to understand. I am the one who is lucky.
    Iamgr8teful

    Answer by Iamgr8teful at 9:09 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • We've adopted four times via foster care. It's been tremendously wonderful. Crazy sometimes, but always wonderful. I'd definitely do it all over again!
    Donna_Mommy

    Answer by Donna_Mommy at 10:05 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • where is this OWN stuff coming from did i miss a post or maybe cant see it if a child is in your family they are yours as you are theirs
    jaksonsmommy

    Comment by jaksonsmommy (original poster) at 11:35 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • One of the replies said " if we could have children of our own"...which is completely inflammatory for a-parents as it devalues the child and their place in their family. The worst part is that the poster is an adoptive mother to be! If someone cannot see an adopted child as their own, they have NO business at all adopting. Period.
    mcginnisc

    Answer by mcginnisc at 8:10 AM on Jul. 8, 2010

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