Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

3 Bumps

Battle for Vanessa

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/38108537/ns/local_news-los_angeles_ca

Bio Dad jailed several times for domestic abuse and had his other children taken from him for abuse, is fighting adoptive parents for custody of child that his ex-wife put up for adoption.

What do you think?

Answer Question
 
2ndtimewish

Asked by 2ndtimewish at 12:50 PM on Jul. 7, 2010 in Adoption

Level 16 (2,683 Credits)
Answers (17)
  • I sure as hell hope that he doesnt get custody. The mother did what she thought was best for the baby and keeping her away from her father as horrible as it sounds was the best thing. I mean he is a violent man who has beaten her half to death at least once what say he wouldnt do that to his daughter? and it said he has had 2 other children taken away from him because of it so I really do pray for that little girl and for the adoptive mother that she retains custody and they do NOT give her to her biological father.
    Linda_PF

    Answer by Linda_PF at 12:58 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • I heard about this story, that would be sick if any judge would give that ltiile girl to a man like that. If any judge allows that, I hope they get the crap beat out of them.
    staceynoel

    Answer by staceynoel at 2:49 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • Normally I would be furious at a birth mother who had cheated the father out of his baby. In this case It sounds like this mother was desperate to keep her baby away from him for safety reasons. I think he doesn't stand a hope in hell of getting custody or her.
    onethentwins

    Answer by onethentwins at 4:01 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • I agree with everyone who has posted so far. I'm more concerned about what is good for the child. It's sad that the child's mother felt that that was her only option to protect the child from her father. As far as he is concerned, he has shown himself to be violent - game over. I hope he doesn't get custody.
    Iamgr8teful

    Answer by Iamgr8teful at 9:03 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • Apparently the issue also is along race lines. The dad is AA, the Bmom is Caucasian and the Amom is Caucasian. He feels she needs to be raised in an AA home. He lost custody of his other kids but his Mother *BGmom) has some of them and I believe he is saying that he wants his mother to take her.

    I just cant imagine how traumatic it will be for that baby if they put it in foster care while they sort this all out.

    Sad...
    2ndtimewish

    Comment by 2ndtimewish (original poster) at 9:26 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • If the guy is so violent that they have taken his other kids, I don't think he should have a say in where this one goes. How will his own mom keep him safe from him? She probably thinks he's an angel. So many mothers will insist that their grown child has done nothing wrong.
    Iamgr8teful

    Answer by Iamgr8teful at 11:59 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • i hope that vanessa is reunited with her mother!! her adoptive mother.... the only mother she knows!! i adopted a little girl with no known bio father and to read that story scares me to death!!!
    chiana

    Answer by chiana at 4:02 AM on Jul. 9, 2010

  • What is sad too is that the Amom has went through her life savings trying to defend the case and keep the baby. Now she is going to be in a lesser financial situation to raise this child.

    Like it or not, he has a good chance of winning if he can prove that he purposely was denied knowledge of the baby. The system does not always work in the interest of the child.
    2ndtimewish

    Comment by 2ndtimewish (original poster) at 7:58 AM on Jul. 9, 2010

  • Like it or not, he has a good chance of winning if he can prove that he purposely was denied knowledge of the baby. The system does not always work in the interest of the child. (OP)

    Sadly, OP, you are correct. Especially about the race. I know of another mom who lost her bi-racial FS (almost adopted) to the dad who was AA, and she & her family were CC. The child was around the same age & they moved him w/o a transition, and placed him with a relative of dad's as he didn't have a proper home yet....Nightmare.

    I pray for a different outcome for Vanessa.
    doodlebopfan

    Answer by doodlebopfan at 8:32 AM on Jul. 9, 2010

  • Anyone see the movie "Losing Isaiah"? It is a true story about a black crack addict that leaves her baby in the trash to get high. When she comes back he's gone. The baby is adopted by a well to do white family. 3 years later the woman is clean and discovers her baby is still alive. She sues for custody and the main reason she gets her child back is because he is black. http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/losing_isaiah/  

    onethentwins

    Answer by onethentwins at 12:41 PM on Jul. 9, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.