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How come my daughter seems to be so behind in her years?

My 3 year old daughter seems not to be as smart as some of the other kids! She does not talk very well, she does not understand simple comands, and she is not potty trained. I understand that some children are slow but it seems to me that she is extra slow in almost everything. From waking up in the morning to going to be it is a struggle to get her to understand the daily things that we do, like eating, and not hitting or just listen in general. If we tell her to pick up the clothes and put them in the laundry basket she will shake her head yes and then walk away.
Please help me to understand her and maybe give me a few pointers or what I might need to do. Thankyou

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Asked by StarrRose at 12:58 PM on Jul. 7, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 2 (6 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • =(.. It will be okay. Like you said, kids are different. She may just be going on her own level.. Maybe you should still try taking her to a doctor..maybe she has problems that you are unaware of.

    Answer by SuperrMommyy at 1:04 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • If you are concerned the best thing to do is take her to the Dr. and dont give up till you get an answer that can help.. Could it be her hearing? If nothing is wrong with her just give her love, support & guidance the best ya can :) Everyone is unique. And that is what makes each of us special!

    Answer by MommaTasha1003 at 1:12 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • Well, I'm not an experienced mom, I just have a 9-month-old, so take that into consideration with my advice.... Maybe the PP is right and she's ok, but I Haven't known any 3-year-olds that don't speak some and understand commands. Is she growing up in a bilingual home? I know sometimes kids growing up with two languages are a little slower.

    If it were me, I would definitely want to talk it over with my pediatrician, and if they didn't do anything, and nothing changed in the next few months, i would take her to another one. Yes, MAYBE she's fine, but if there are some delays, I would think this would be the best time to get her into some kind of therapy to get caught up. I'm sure this must be so agonizing for you, hang in there!

    Answer by Adelicious at 1:13 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • Thankyou Adelicious, I apricate your cander. No she is not in a billingual home! She does have an older simbling who is 5, I have a appointment scheduled for her but to be honest the doctors where i live are a joke. Thankyou!

    Comment by StarrRose (original poster) at 1:24 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • Ever since a bunch of doctors got together and decided that kids should be doing specific things at certain ages, parents force themselves and their kids to get in the game or get ahead of it. Give your dd some more time. She might be a kid who likes to take her time. I know of a child who seemed "slow", but that was his nature. He wasn't in a hurry because it was his choice. He wanted to take things slow. Maybe this is what your dd is thinking. Maybe she doesn't want to be rushed. Give her the time she needs or wants, at this point, and maybe she will respond better.  She could have a speech delay, that happens, and as far as not understanding, maybe it is her way of saying that she does not care what you are saying and she is going to do her own thing.  Good luck.


    Answer by krissyvelazquez at 3:59 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • Contact your county health department. There is a program called Help me Grow which can do an evaluation on her to see if she is behind and if she is, they can help you find treatment options for speech, fine motor, etc. Good luck. This is a federal program and in every state so don't worry that it won't be in your area.

    Answer by carmadsmom at 4:46 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • Not understanding simple commands is a big flag.  She could have a hearing problem especially if she isn't talking much.  I would definitely talk to her doctor and have her hearing checked (they usually do that at the 3 year appt anyway) or call early intervention.

    My middle daughter was barely speaking at 2 but could understand complex commands (like: go in the kitchen, get the spoon, come back, etc).  She just couldn't speak much.  She eventually caught up.  She also wasn't potty trained until she was almost 4.  Some kids just don't get it until later.


    Answer by justanotherjen at 5:28 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

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