Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

Does anyone else only have young, single, childless friends?? If so, how do you "deal" with it?

I am only 22, but I'm mature for my age. I have the same group of friends I've had since we were 10, and I love them all dearly. The problem is, they are young, single, childless and they want to go out every weekend, party, drink, sleep around, go on spontaneous "road trips" that end up three hours away, scrounging up money so they can stay at a hotel and party all night.

 
FatGirl239

Asked by FatGirl239 at 1:09 PM on Jul. 7, 2010 in Relationships

Level 19 (8,098 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • Your not a bad friend. When I first got married, all my friends were single (one engaged), childless and still living the fun and carefree lifestyle. It does put some distance between you, but they'll catch up eventually and understand where you've been all these years! lol 4 1/2 years later, all are married, all but one have a child and they know now how it is to be a mom and have a DH.
    GL xoxox
    CAGirl4

    Answer by CAGirl4 at 1:21 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • Make friends with people you have more things in common with. Hang out with your single friends when you can; when you have child care, etc, and do your own thing. If you've spoken to them and they don't get it, it's because that's not their life and their lifestyle. It can be tough. I'm older and my friends all have families and children, but my SO has younger, single friends, so I kind of understand.
    MeandMyBabes

    Answer by MeandMyBabes at 1:15 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • You are not being a bad friend if you can't go to all the partys or that you can follow them in everything they do.
    You have to be yourself, you are not single and "free" like you used to be, because now you have a family, just tell them how you feel...
    I'm 16 and i got the same problems, because i know my friends since forever, but since i got pregnant they just left me. they don't invite me to partys or anything... but they don't want people to judge them because i got pregnant early...
    JUST STAY WITH YOUR FAMILY BECAUSE THEY ARE MORE IMPORTANT THAN ANYTHING,, THEY ARE YOUR FRIENDS BUT IF THEY CAN'T UNDERSTAND THEY AREN'T BEING GOOD FRIENDS...
    sorry my horrible english but good luck.
    Sofiah

    Answer by Sofiah at 1:16 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • its sad because now you are the only with a child and you can no longer relate to them without children I knew how that was. I was 19 and I had no one to watch my son and they did not get it they would invite me out to eat or to concerts and I would have to either bring the baby or not go. They would invite me to parties and say well you can leave the child with SO and that was not going too happen. I ended up just growing away from that group I still talked to my best friend but after I started to make other friends. You will see its sad but changes can bring other friends. GL Momma

    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 1:18 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • I have young, childless friends but mine are understanding of my situation.

    We get bummed out that I can't go and do everything that they go and do but we know that's just the reality of the situation. They do a lot with my kids and I as well. I'm a single mom so they know how hard it is to have a life of any kind while being at home with two small kids.
    If we want to go out for a weekend or go away somewhere then we plan it well in advance so I can make arrangements with the kids dad so that I can go.

    Spontaneity is fun and used to be part of my life, but it's not so much anymore. My friends understand this and plan things with me.
    We leave room for spontaneity for my "day off". Lol.
    Laila-May

    Answer by Laila-May at 1:22 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • I cut all mine off, I know that sounds mean and Im sure they were pissed at me but thats just how it is. I moved on to the next chapter in my life and am very happy I made that decision. Cant stay a kid for life, you have to grow up at some point expecially if you have children. My husband and kids are all I need to stay happy.
    LANDENSMOMMYlmk

    Answer by LANDENSMOMMYlmk at 1:53 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • We invite a few of our closer single friends over once a week for a social pot-luck. My DD goes to bed around 7:30 which gives us a couple of hours to hang out and bull-shit (for back of better words) and be 'grown-up.' I don't have an issue with the drinking or partying because I am not much of a drinker, though they are welcome to bring alcohol for the after-hours if they choose.

    I have also made a few new friends though via parent networking and we go out to lunch every now and then (with the kids) ect. I think everything changes once you have a child, and I think friendships are one of those impacted things, you know?

    What works for me may not work for you though, but all the same... I wish you the best!
    OmbreGracieuse

    Answer by OmbreGracieuse at 2:01 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • Anyhow, the issue is, they want me to partake in these crazy excursions and get upset when I can’t just leave my child at home and go to the bar every weekend. Don’t get me wrong, I go out occasionally, but when I do, I’d prefer to have some alone time with my SO. I feel like I’m being a bad friend, but it annoys me that all they want to do is party and they can’t understand I have a family at home. I’ve tried talking to them about it, but its like they don’t understand, they tell me, “Oh, your dad will watch the baby." Really?

    WHAT DO I DO???!!!
    FatGirl239

    Comment by FatGirl239 (original poster) at 1:09 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • I am 24 and yes I do.. I dont go bar hopping or hang out with them, but I really feel like I am not missing out on anything..Bars and what not will always be there.. but I wouldnt miss my kids first moments for anything..
    navajomama7

    Answer by navajomama7 at 1:49 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • you can distance yourself but don;t lose contact or cut them off sooner or later they will catch up to you
    gypsymama532

    Answer by gypsymama532 at 3:03 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN