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TO BUY OR NOT TO BUY A WEDDING GIFT?

My mom just received a wedding announcement (not an invitation) from one of my cousins after she was already married last month. In the announcement they included the place where they are registered for gifts and where to send the gifts. They also included a link to the website where their wedding pictures were posted. My mom thinks its a little rude because she was not informed of the wedding last month nor was she invited, yet it's like they still want a gift from her. My mom feels obligated because this is her brothers daughter and she is close to her brother. She's not sure what she should do!

What do you think...should my mom buy a gift for her or not?

Answer Question
 
CEOAprilMarie

Asked by CEOAprilMarie at 2:28 PM on Jul. 7, 2010 in Just for Fun

Level 3 (24 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • Not a gift but a card congratulating them on their wedding would be appropriate.
    Lifes-A-Dance

    Answer by Lifes-A-Dance at 2:29 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • Yes buy a gift. Why wouldn't you? You have no idea why she wasn't invited - there could be a host of reasons. They are family - so buy a gift and congratulate them!
    Katt709

    Answer by Katt709 at 2:30 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • NO, omg, sounds nervey to me.

    How could someone do something like that? Tell your mom to save her money. We buy gifts when we attend places, or your really close to people, not after gifts.
    KFree907

    Answer by KFree907 at 2:30 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • I would not buy a gift if I was not invited to the wedding, but that is just me. If your mom is close with her brother seems like she should have been invited, they must not think as much of her as she does of them I guess. it is up to her, but there is no way I would.
    BlainesMommy09

    Answer by BlainesMommy09 at 2:30 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • If she feels close to them and they have bought things for her children I would, but kinda tacky to include a gift registry with with only an announcement.

    RyansMom001

    Answer by RyansMom001 at 2:33 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • Wow. No I wouldn't. I would send a card like the first poster said, but if she is close to them, then yes. If they are as close as you say, wouldn't your mother know about the wedding? Just seems like they are looking for what they haven't received already.

    Christine0813

    Answer by Christine0813 at 2:40 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • I would send a card congratulating them on their wedding and wish them luck in their life together but I wouldn't send a gift.
    momof2inCT2007

    Answer by momof2inCT2007 at 2:49 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • you dont buy gifts to things that you werent invited to.

    i would just tell them congratulations next time i see them.
    americansugar80

    Answer by americansugar80 at 3:16 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • No gift. It was super tacky to include gift info in the announcement. It's like they thought, 'Oh, we didn't get all the stuff on our registry, so let's send announcements to anyone who wasn't invited to the wedding so THEY can buy it!"
    She got a card (announcement) and can send one back. That's it. No gift.
    Pnukey

    Answer by Pnukey at 3:19 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • I would set aside the details of when the announcement was received and what information it contained and focus on how important the lady is instead.
    Things are done differently today and many people are not taught the rudiments of proper etiquette. Also, the cost per person to attend the wedding may have exceeded their budget and so they may not have sent out the announcements until after the wedding so that the recipients would not confuse the announcement for an invitation and show up uninvited.

    So...does your mom love her niece? Does she have a relationship with her? Does she have a loving relationship with her brother? If so, then she should make her own personal choice based on those answers. If she chooses to send a gift, it does not need to be a physical item, but can be a personal check or a gift card to the store they have a registry at.
    Best wishes!
    PrydferthMenyw

    Answer by PrydferthMenyw at 7:51 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

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